BEDA 31: “The End’s Not Near, It’s Here. Again.”

So, yes, today was the first day of classes. No, it was not my last first day of classes, as so many of my friends are putting on their facebook statuses (statusi?). I will never not have a first day of classes until I retire. Seriously– think about it. Me, being a teacher, will always provide me with: a summer vacation, a Christmas vacation, a spring break, a first day of class, a last day of class, and all the other holidays and snow days and whatnot. It will be great. (OKAY if you want to be technical, this is the last first day of classes as an undergrad. Next semester doesn’t count because I’ll be teaching teaching.)

So my first class was Reading in the Content Area. Basically this means teaching reading to students who either don’t know how to read, or are not good readers/don’t like to read. I had a really big NERD moment; the air conditioning in the room makes the SAME EXACT NOISE as the TARDIS. I know, I know. AWESOMEEEEEEE. And I totally volunteered to get up in front of the class and share my response to something we had to do in class. WHO AM I? I love it.

Then I had president’s training for this book club I started on campus, and then I had photography. Three hour class in an  non air-conditioned room. Oh my. Everyone was sweating it was so gross. And the class can fit about 8-10 people and we had 2o in there. YIKES.

Then I did some homework and then had dinner with a friend and then went to my roommate’s A-Capella group’s auditions and got to sit in on them and watch people. It was quite interesting. There were some really great people, some really not so great people, and some really terrible people. But I remained more composed than some, which I felt was a personal triumph. And OMG there was this one guy who auditioned who was straight from China, and he kept bowing and he sang the only song he knew in English…MY HEART WILL GO ON. I mean, HOW FREAKING ADORABLE. He was soooooo cute everyone loved him so so much.

Now I am home and sleeepy and I has to get up early for classes tomorrow. SO as a parting remark for the END of BEDA, I don’t know if you noticed but every title has been a song lyric, or a quote, or something. SO I am going to now list them out and tell you what they are from because I know you are just DYING TO KNOW RIGHT NOW.

Goodnight everyone and a happy last BEDA to you too!

BEDA 1:”Guess Who’s Back, Back Again” This is from Eminem’s song Without Me

BEDA 2: “I sisnt call call I dont wannt too im woornn outt” This is explained in the post, but it was my lovely brother, texting while sleeping.

BEDA 3:”Wit Beyond Measure is Man’s Greatest Treasure” This is from Harry Potter, specifically speaking about Ravenclaw

BEDA 4:”Mama I’m a Big Girl Now” This is from the show Hairspray, and the song is Mama I’m A Big Girl Now

BEDA 5:”Hollywood Infected Your Brain” This is from a song called Hollywood by Marina and the Diamonds

BEDA 6: “I Have This Little Sister Lola, She is Small and Very Funny” This is the opening line to the ADORABLE show Charlie and Lola

BEDA 7: “The Angels Are Approaching but the Front Door is Locked” This is from the Chameleon Circuit song Blink

BEDA 8: “FLO-RIDA” I believe this is the name of a rapper.

BEDA 9: “Are You the Doctor?” Basically every episode of Doctor Who

BEDA 10: “It’s So Fluffy I’m Gonna DIE!” From the movie Despicable Me

BEDA 11: “Exterminate, Regenerate” From the Chameleon Circuit song Exterminate, Regenerate

BEDA 12: “Baby, I Like It” from the Enrique Inglesias song I Like It

BEDA 13: “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs” From Harry Potter

BEDA 14: “You Musn’t Be Afraid to Dream a Little Bigger, Darling” From the movie Inception

BEDA 15: “It’s a Small World After All” From the Disney ride/song of the same name

BEDA 16: “I Know, You Know, That I’m Not Telling the Truth” From the theme song for Psych

BEDA 17: “O Let Time Not Deceive You/You Cannot Conquer Time” From the W.H.Auden poem As I Walked Out One Evening

BEDA 18: “Joanie Loves Chachi” I know this is a show, but I was going for the line from Dodgeball

BEDA 19: “In Times Like These” From the Jack Johnson song On and On

BEDA 20: “TAKE LUCK!” From the comedian Steven Lynch

BEDA 21: “Cause I’m FIFTY! FIFTY YEARS OLD!” From the SNL skit with Molly Shannon

BEDA 22: “It’s Like Rain, On Your Wedding Day” From Alanis Morisette’s song Ironic

BEDA 23: “Shake It, Shake It, Shake It Baby Now” From the song Twist and Shout (pick your cover)

BEDA 24: “Kat. Cat. Rarrrw.” From the movie 10 Things I Hate About You

BEDA 25: “What the HELLLLLLL is the Matter With You” From the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

BEDA 26: “Whatever You Do, Don’t Blink. Blink and You’re Dead.” From the Doctor Who episode Blink.

BEDA 27: “I Wanna Go Far Away” From Ingrid Michaelson’s song Far Away

BEDA 28: “The Tears I Might Have Shed For Your Dark Fate, Grow Cold and Turn to Tears of Hate” From The Phantom of the Opera

BEDA 29: “The Show Must Go On” I was going for the scene in Moulin Rouge

BEDA 30: “Clothes May Make the Man, All a Girl Needs is a Tan” From The Producers

BEDA 31: “The End’s Not Near, It’s Here” From the Band of Horses song The End’s Not Near

BEDA 30: “Clothes May Make the Man; All a Girl Needs is a Tan!”

Emmy Fashion. I’ve split the categories into best/worst dressed for ladies and then for men, and my overall pick for the ladies and overall pick for the men are at the bottom. Plus a BONUS SURPRISE! Here we go!

BEST DRESSED- Ladies

Jayma Mays in Burberry Prorsum chiffon ruched gown with Neil Lane necklace.

Jayma is absolutely gorgeous in this gown, and although her wardrobe on the show is lovely (consisting mostly of J. Crew and Anthropologie items) it is nice to see her looking more…relaxed? Blah, she is gorgeous.

Sofia Vergara in a gold sequined Carolina Herrera gown.

I haven’t watched Modern Family, and I am not familiar with Sofia Vergara (though her name sounds familiar) but this dress was stunning!

Heather Morris in an Ina Soltani column gown with satin clutch.

Considering we mostly see her in a cheerleading uniform, this beautiful dress was a nice change!

Tina Fey in a beaded Oscar de la Renta gown.

Tina Fey isn’t exactly known for her good taste in fashion on the Red Carpet. However, she looked really beautiful in this gown!

Claire Danes in a Swarovski crystal-encrusted Armani Prive.

I don’t think Clarie Danes could ever look bad, even if she tried. She looked so beautiful on the red carpet last night– loved her hair.

Emily Deschanel in a plum-colored Max Azria Atelier gown.

I love Emily, and she looked fantastic last night! Not may people could make this dress work, and she pulled it off.

Jane Lynch in a one-shoulder Ali Rahimi gown and a silver Swarovski clutch.

It was so refreshing seeing Jane in something other than a track suit! She looked so elegant and you could tell she was having the time of her life last night.

Nina Dobrev in a silk Zuhair Murad gown with Chopard diamonds.

I don’t really know who this girl is, but I would kill for that dress. She looked stunning.

Lea Michele in a ruffled Oscar de la Renta gown with a Lorraine Schwartz necklace.

Lea Michele is absolutely beautiful no matter what she is wearing, but the formfitting dress she wore really showed off her body while looking quite eloquent.

WORST DRESSED- Ladies

Lauren Graham in a Yigal Azrouël gown.

Lauren Graham- I love you, I really do. But I think this dress is just a hot mess. The slit was a bit awkward, and the front of the dress, being the only white part, looked far too baggy. And I don’t eve know what was going on with that hair…

Christina Hendricks in a Zac Posen gown.

First, I don’t care for this color. Second, The feathers make this look a little to campy. Third, YES. We all know you have huge breasts. Just remember, sometimes less is not more.

January Jones in an Atelier Versace gown with over $1 million in Cartier diamonds.

I really like the color of this dress, but I’ve never been a fan of the short in front, long in back dresses. And the awkward neckline of this dress- reminded me of seashells. Or coffee filters. And her hair- mmmnotsomuch. However, her jewelry was fantastic (mainly just the ring), and I did like her shoes.

Anna Paquin in an Alexander McQueen gown.

Yeah, I just don’t like anything about this dress.

Eva LaRue in a gown that, as of right now, I cannot find the name of the designer.

Some people may find this dress sexy, and if it didn’t have that slit I would say, yes, it is sexy. But it just kind of looks trashy to me.

Kris Jenner in a dress that she should not have worn.

You would think that someone as…Kardashian as Kris would know that this dress is not flattering. At all.

Naya Rivera in...something. I'm not sure what.

I love, love, love the top half of this dress. If the bottom wasn’t so full? Or maybe if the slit wasn’t there? I don’t know, something just isn’t working. And WHAT is on top of her head?

Rita Wilson in Prada.

What the frick is she even wearing? Chainmail?

BEST DRESSED- Men

Ryan Kwanten in a dark plaid, double-buttoned suit and red tie.

Ryan could look good in anything. Or nothing (as he often does on True Blood). My gosh this man is sexy.

Jim Parsons in a lovely, semi-shiny suit!

I absolutely adore Jim Parsons and he looks quite nice all dressed up.

Cory Monteith in a classic suit and tie.

Looking good Finn!

Neil Patrick Harris in a retro Calvin Klein suit and black skinny tie.

I LOVE skinny ties, and NPH’s suit, and NPH.

WORST DRESSED- Men

Alan Cumming in a sort of suit.

It shouldn’t be that difficult for men to look good on the red carpet. Yes, there are quite a few choices- tux, suit, skinny tie, regular tie, etc. But considering how many choices there are for women…men just have it easier. I think I wouldn’t mind this outfit, it if wasn’t for the pants. The creep me out. At least he isn’t wearing plaid though.

Ty Burrell in....I'm not quite sure.

Mr. Burrell, if you want to know how to pull off a gray tux, ask Neil Patrick Harris. Ask anyone, really, except the person who picked out your outfit. And those shoes! Why would you wear those with that ill-fitting tux? I…I just don’t know.

OVERALL TOP BEST DRESSED

Okay, okay I really can’t decide who is best dressed female, so we are going with a two-way tie:

Jayma Mays, because she looked absolutely BEAUTIFUL and elegant...

and

Claire Danes, because she was glowing and not a single thing was out of place

For the men, it was a tick easier:

Neil Patrick Harris, because, well, look at him.

OVERALL WORST DRESSED

So sorry my dear, but worst dress goes to:

Rita Wilson, because that dress and shoe combination is an abomination.

(Close, VERY CLOSE, second goes to Ana Paquin.)

And I think the male is obvious:

Ty Burrell because, well, look at him. Terrible.

BONUS! Special WORST DRESSED COUPLE!!

Ty and Holly Burrell in two terrible outfits that should never be paired together again.

What was she thinking? Sure the colors are fantastic together (her dress, not his tux and her dress) but the flowers were a bit too much.

.

So there you have it! My fashion wrap. What did you think? Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree?

Happy BEDA!

BEDA 29: “The Show Must Go On”

Tonight’s blog will be a live account of the Emmy Awards! The Fashion aspect will most likely be the feature of tomorrow’s blog.

Okay here we go!

Opening number- Basically best opening for the Emmys in a while! I’m very sure we will be seeing a lot of Glee people throughout the show, and it was nice seeing Kate Gosslin being a good sport and pretty much making fun of herself. And now….onto COMEDY!

Supporting actor for comedy- Um, I am sure this man is funny, but I’ve never seen this show, so I can’t really comment. One day Neil will win, as he should. Also, congrats to Chris for being nominated!

Writing for comedy- Oh Jim Parsons! Last year he messed up his lines, so I’m very happy he managed to get them all out. And I love him so, so much. Again, I’ve never seen Modern Family, so I can’t really comment. But the commercials looked pretty funny, so I’m sure they deserve it!

Supporting actress for comedy- Stephen Colbert is always awesome and I’m really pulling for Jane Lynch. And the winner is…Jane Lynch! YAY!!!!!!! Omg, she so deserves it! And of course, her speech is adorable. I actually don’t like the speeches in award shows, because they are always so freaking awkward, but sometimes they are bearable.

Guest actress/actor for comedy- How could Betty White NOT win? And I’m really happy for Neil! And poor Matthew and Lauren, gah I hate it when jokes fall flat.

Directing for comedy- Ryan Murphy. I mean, I think these are going to come down to Glee or Modern Family. I love Ryan; I’m glad he has been nominated and won. I never watched Nip Tuck, but I did watch Popular, and that show was freaking awesome.

I do love the snippets they include, but sometimes they are just not that funny. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some George Clooney, but yeah. I guess if I watched Modern Family I would like it more?

Lead actor for comedy- Aww I really want Jim to win! OMG YAYAYAYYAAY!!!! I love him so so so much! Akk he is adorable, and really makes BBT- seriously that show would not be the same without him. Cute speech too.

Lead actress for comedy- I didn’t think Lea would win, but I would have really liked her, or Julie to have won. I’ve never seen Nurse Jackie, so I can’t really comment, but I’m sure she is deserving!

And now we are on to my least favorite category of the night- REALITY!

Reality competition program- Well, it is very refreshing to see a show OTHER THAN The Amazing Race win! Also, I wish Will Arnett would talk like that all the time. Shexy.

DRAMA!

Writing for drama- Ahh I think I’m one of the only people who does not watch Mad Men, but who wants to. It looks really good, so I’m sure these guys deserve it!!

Supporting actor for drama- Bah, never seen it. Congrats to this guy though!

Supporting actress for drama- AHHH I LOVE EMILY!!! And now for the winner- I’ve actually seen The Good Wife, and while I didn’t really care for the show overall, she is a good actress.

Lead actor for drama- Ah he wont, but I would love it if Kyle won! I’ve been watching him since Early Edition. WOW. That was a surprise! I don’t even know what Breaking Bad is about, but I’m surprised this guy beat House and Matthew Fox.

Guest actor/actress for drama- AHHK the female presenter whose name I cannot pronounce was on Doctor Who! And once, I saw John Lithgow on Broadway. He was lovely! Also, that lady looks really familiar, but I cant place her face.

Directing for drama- Yes, I don’t know who he is, but he liked Doctor Who, so he is alright in my book.

Jimmy Fallon is funny yes, but that was awkwardly pacing for song. And… I didn’t get the liquid on the floor?

Best actress for drama- Kyra has been around forever, so I am happy she won!

VARIETY!

Best variety show- To quote the ever lovable Broadway show, The Producers, “TONY! TONY! TONY!” I love the Tonys more than any other award show.

Meh, I’ve never really cared for Ricky Gervais, although the Mel Gibson bit was funny.

Directing for a variety show- Bucky Gunts! I love the Olympics!

Outstanding variety show- Who didn’t see this coming? John Stewart? I mean, it only happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Mmmmmmm George Clooney.

MINISERIES and MOVIES!

Best supporting actress- Okay, I seriously love ALL of these actresses nominated, so I don’t care who wins. Yay Julia!

Best supporting actor- I REALLY wanted Patrick Stewart to win for Hamlet, or Michael Gambon, because he IS Michael Gambon, but alas this guy will have to do.

Sad part of the show can only be summed up by 11 Points– “Death montage! Let’s see what happens here… Very modest applause for most of the people. Or maybe Jewel’s warbling is drowning them out?”

So it is 10:23, and they have quite a few awards left. As much as I love the Emmys, and television, and award shows, and pretty dresses, PLEASE don’t let them drone on…

Writing for movie/miniseries- Didn’t see a single one of these. Don’t really care who wins.

Lead actress for miniseries/movie- OMG I love, love, love, every single one of these ladies. I don’t care who wins, although I’m glad it was Claire Danes. She is so lovely!

HOW LONG IS THIS CATEGORY?!?!?

What is this? I wasn’t even paying attention…

Directing for miniseries/movie- I don’t know this guy. I don’t care for this category? Sorry.

Leading actor for miniseries/movie- Al! Congrats!

SO BORED RIGHT NOW.

Outstanding miniseries- IS this the last award for this category? Please say yes! Oh Tom Hanks! Yay!

Outstanding movie- I knew this was going to win. WHO DRESSED THE LADY IN PINK? You need to talk to Dr. Jack….

Best Drama- I honestly don’t care who wins… however, Mad Med wins again. Surprise, surprise.

Best Comedy- I want Glee to win! I want Glee to win!!! UGH. I knew, I knew, I KNEW Modern Family was going to win. Well, at least it wasn’t 30 Rock again.

Quick and painless ending. Nothing will ever top last year’s ending on the Tonys!

Well that’s all from the Emmys! Happy BEDA!

BEDA 28: “The Tears I Might Have Shed for Your Dark Fate, Grow Cold and Turn to Tears of HATE.”

Today was a fun day. I went with my sister and mother to Goodwill, and garage sales, and Costco and got some really cool things. Well, two really cool things and A LOT of books. I mean, A LOT of books. It’s amazing how many books I currently own; well over 300. ANYWAY, then we went to Petco because my sister is going to get a dog. And we purchased some things and I bonded with the most ADORABLE kittens EVER and I wanted to bring them all home with me but mother said no. Boo.

Then I chilled and watched some House, and then NCIS with my father, then Phantom of the Opera with my brother, and I totally forgot how awesome that movie is. Now I am home and blogging and then going to probably start on homework.

Yes, I have homework and the semester hasn’t even begun. Welcome to hell.

Happy BEDA.

BEDA 27: “I Wanna Go Far Away…”

So, I know that I may be saying this a lot lately (or maybe just in my head) but I really, really want to put another stamp in my passport. I know, I know, what an incredibly spoiled and selfish thing to say, yes I know I’ve been blessed to go on the trips I’ve been on and many people will never get that opportunity, blah blah blah. I am grateful. I’ve often expressed how grateful I am, and my parents know it. At least, I really hope they know how much I love them and thank them for everything they have done.

But…I just want to travel again. I want to go back to England. There was so much I didn’t do when I lived there; I kick myself now for not doing more. Going to more places. See, the thing is, I don’t like traveling alone that much. And there were opportunities I could have traveled more in England, but I didn’t and the past is the past, I can’t change it. But there are so many places I would love to go, if given the chance. And I know my sister feels the same way; we had so much fun traveling around and going to the zoo. Man, that was a BLAST. *cue sarcasm*

Maybe it is wishful thinking; I don’t know. When I returned from France in 2007 I swore I would go back one day. A year later I was once again standing under the Eiffel Tower. I’m not going to say I will never go back. I honestly don’t know if I will or will not. I would love, love, LOVE to take my wonderful mother to England (even though she wants to go to Alaska). I think she would love traveling with me, and I know she is one of the few people who would let me be a complete nerd and go to the Doctor Who museum in Cardiff, and the places where the movie Pride and Prejudice was filmed.

I just love traveling and I miss it so, so much. I miss New Zealand! I miss walking around and feeling completely safe because New Zealanders are pretty much the NICEST people on the planet. And I miss the openness of France; eating crepes by the River Seine, etc. And of course, the beauty and busy streets of England. And the parks- oh New Zealand and England had some of the best parks ever. I didn’t have to be on my phone, or computer, or anything- I just wanted to be outside, in the city, experiencing life and soaking it all in.

So, for now, I am left to dream of the places I will one day (hopefully) get back to. If you ever get the opportunity to travel- DO IT. Please, just trust me. It will totally be worth it, I promise.

Happy BEDA!

BEDA 26: “Whatever You Do, Don’t Blink. Blink and You’re Dead.”

So today was a bit of a relaxing day for me. Meaning, I spent most of it cleaning. Hey, I love to clean. I reorganized almost everything in my room, dusted, vacuumed, rearanged things, etc. It was splendid. Then I spend the rest of my time watching Doctor Who. Now I am finished with series four, but I have about four specials to go before I can start series five. (Also, I should let you know that in England they refer to “seasons” as “series” and I’ve been reading up so much on them that I’ve started to do the same. So, sorry, but I’ll probably continue to call them series.)

There are usually 13-14 episodes in a series, then they do a Christmas special. I haven’t seen all of the specials; they are more stand-alone and don’t make a huge impact on the normal series (other than a shout out here and there). However, the last two specials after series 4, the Christmas and the New Years specials, are MAJORLY important to understanding series 5. I mean, the doctor freaking regenerates in the last special.

Now, if you don’t understand what I mean by “regenerates”, all will be explained in time. I’m planning to do a few blog posts on the new Doctor Who, but I need to finish series 5 so I can be caught up and make perfect sense to you. Well, as perfect as I can. Unfortuantly the last two specials are not on instant watch on Netflix, so I must await them in the mail, and season five is not out on DVD so I will be searching the Internet for those. It may be a while until I can blog properly about them, but I will tell you I took a page out of Graham-from-The Holiday‘s book and man oh man does this show make me weep. Yes, I’m a weeper. I know you know that because of my embarrassingly honest post about Harry Potter, so you might as well know it about Doctor Who. However, people/mostly aliens die in this show, a lot, and it is really, really, really sad.

But more on that later. I also got an email from my professor wanting us to start doing work, I DON’T THINK SO. I was all super sad and then I remembered that OMG THIS IS MY LAST SEMESTER OF SCHOOL. Yes, yes, *technically* I have a year left, but spring semester I will be full time student teaching. As in, running the classroom. Well, sort of runnign the classroom. Mainly running the classroom but if I make a mistake I have a real teacher to back me up. Fall semester will consist of spending many hours in that classroom in the morning/early afternoon and then classes in the late afternoon/evening. And one of those requires lab hours and even though it is photography don’t think for a second those lab hours aren’t difficult. When I took my photo class in England we were in the darkroom for 3-4 hours at a time! So, all my time will be eaten up by high school, and then college school.

Woah, I’ve really gotten off track from this post. Okay, back to the point- my relaxing day. Right, so I cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, then I watched Doctor Who. And as I was watching I heard someone knock at my door. For some daft reason I thought it was my mum so I got up and quickly saw that it was not my mum. It was a man and the conversation went something like this:

Man: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello.”

Man: *cue creepy voice* “Are you the lady of the house?”

Me: *cue scared voice* “….Yes?”

Man: “Well I don’t want to take up much of your time, only sixty seconds. I want to talk to you about getting you to go green.”

Me: *says nothing*

Man: *peers over my head, into my apartment* *suddenly pulls out paper* “Will you point on this list to the two ares of your house you have the most difficulty cleaning?”

Me: *reaches for paper* *thinks about all the aliens on Doctor Who, who parade around as normal people* *thinks twice about reaching out for the paper* *retreats hand* “No, no we are already green in this apartment.”

Man: “Okay, high five!” *gives me a high five* “Thank you for your time.” *walks away*

Me: *locks and deadbolts the door*

Oh my goodness I was ever so creeped out by the creepy man. So then I fixed a bit of dinner, finished series four of Doctor Who, cried, then watched one of the scariest episodes from the show, BECAUSE I AM AN IDIOT. Anyway, I then sat down to type this blog, and here we are!

So, I hope you all have had a great day whatever it is you have been doing. I’m quite excited for tomorrow; I’ve blocked three hours of my day off to sit with my mum and watch the Royal Shakespeare Company’s rendition of Hamlet. AHHHH I am so so so SO excited! Love you all. Happy BEDA.

BEDA 25: “What the HELLLLLLLLL is the Matter With You?”

So today I had a cat scan, because I’m still not feeling well from that sickness I got in Florida. All those days ago. And the doctor signed me up for a cat scan because he said, “I don’t know what is wrong with you.”

Well, at least he is honest.

So, I got the cat scan. I had to drink this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE thing called Barrium or something similar. And it was horrible. I can not stress that enough. HORRIBLE. The only thing I could possibly equate it to, would be that scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Harry, Ron, and Hermione drink Polyjuice potion. And then proceed to vomit. Except that I did not vomit, just, you know, dry-heaved. TMI? Maybe. But you need to feel my pain, Internet.

So then I go to the test and have to change into this robe, this HUGE blue robe that ties in the front and oh yeah, the lab tech is really sorry but I have to take my bra off. She was really, really sorry about it. I mean, I expected that I would have to, but, it was nice that she cared. I suppose.

SO then I get on this table and put my hands over my head and then they push me through this circle thing that is spinning really fast, and they are all “hold your breath” and then just when I think they forgot about me and are really there to let me suffocate to death, they say “you can breathe now.” Oh how nice of them.

So after that I went to get food (because I wasn’t allowed to eat all morning) and then went to the MALL and purchased things like a BOOK and a CD and a DVD. Really exciting stuff. And then the doctor called me and told me, SURPRISE! Your cat scan is completely  normal, congrats, you are not ailing/dying/we don’t really know what is wrong with you. They told me to wait it out, and if the pain was still happening in a few days to call them back YEAH RIGHT. So they can tell me yet again that nothing is wrong with me because nothing is ever wrong with me.

BAH. Happy BEDA.

.

Also, I just want to say something. I know that I have been having medical problems that have been going on for years and years. I have a high pain tolerance and I don’t like to complain, least of all to my dear readers. A lot of what is going on with me I don’t tell you about, mainly because I don’t know what it is, besides really annoying pain. But I want to add that please, please don’t think for a second that I am vain or that I am not grateful for being somewhat healthy. At 3am this morning a really awesome girl named Esther Earl died of Thyroid cancer. She was 16 years old. She was somewhat prominent in the nerdfighter community (if you don’t know what that is, google it) and it was really sad waking up to a tweet about her death. I do have my health, as rotten as it may be at times, and I am not suffering as badly as many people out there. Life is so short and you try and make the best of it, and yes, sometimes it really does suck that the doctor can’t figure out what is wrong with me. But that CT scan came back clean, and that is something I should be pretty damn grateful for.

If you would like to read more about Esther and what an amazing girl she was, please click here. Then go hug your mom, dad, sister, brother, spouse, partner, cat, dog, whatever pet you own, stuffed animal- something! Anything! Because we are all still alive. My thoughts and prayers go out to Esther’s family, and anyone else who may be struggling with the death of a loved one. You are not alone!

BEDA 24: “Kat. Cat. Rawrrrr.”

First things first. Happy Volcano Day everyone!

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, lend me your ears. I got a new mask!

Yes, yes, if you have no idea what I’m talking about then read this AMAZING story. And if you do know what I am talking about, I got rid of Darth Vader. Please welcome to the family- MR. SMITH!

Yes, I know it is really scary/creepy looking, but it is MUCH better than my old mask. We decided on naming it Mr. Smith (we being my roommate, mother and I) because I look like an old person on oxygen. But not just any old person, oh no, I look like the kind that would be in her 80’s and married to someone in their 20’s who was only into me for my wealth.

Then later today I went to the proper doctor and was told I needed a CT scan because he didn’t know what was wrong with me. I’m like a living version of a House episode. If only Dr. House could cure me. And Chase. Chase would need to be there, of course. But not Foreman, no no none of him.

So I’ll let you know the results of my test tomorrow! Until then, Happy BEDA everyone!

BEDA 23: “Shake It, Shake It, Shake It Baby Now”

Tomorrow I am getting a new mask! Yayyyyy! No more Darth Vader. (Click here to find out what I’m talking about.) And today I went school supply shopping which made me oh so very happy, and now I get to go organize it all! AAHHHH I love organizing things! Also, this makes me happy:

And then I bought this poster from ENGLAND the other week, and today it arrived and it looks like this and I just wannna make out with David Tennant RIGHT NOW.

Tomorrow I also go to the doctor to see if I have a problem with my gallbladder or appendix or whatever internal organ is troubling me now. So yes, tomorrow should be an exciting day. NOT. I hate the doctor.

Goodnight mood.

Goodnight Interent.

Happy BEDA.

BEDA 22: “It’s Like Rain, on Your Wedding Day”

Alanis Morissette. Great musician, brings me back to the 90’s. Love her. But her song Ironic has been debated among stoners and scholars alike for quite some time. The real question is, Is the Song Ironic Really Irony?

To really understand irony, we must look to the ultimate source: WEBSTER HIMSELF. Irony is defined:

1 : a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other’s false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning

2 a : the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning b : a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony c : an ironic expression or utterance

3 a (1) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) : an event or result marked by such incongruity b: incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called alsodramatic irony, tragic irony

For all intents and purposes, let’s assume Alanis is referring to definition 3.1 of irony- when the results of a situation are not harmonious with the expected results. (This is often referred to as “situational irony”.)

Let’s take the chorus of the song:

It’s like rain on your wedding day*
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

These are all really sad and unfortunate circumstances. Rain on your wedding day– yes, that could be argued as ironic if putting it into the 3.1 definition. You don’t want rain on your wedding day, so the result of your wedding day (rain) is not harmonious with your expected outcome (no rain). But getting a free ride but you have already paid– that just sucks. And getting good advice and not taking it? Yeah, that is just stupid on your own part.

Now that the chorus is out of the way, let’s examine some of the verses:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day

This is not an ironic situation. It doesn’t fit into any one definition of the word. At all. There is no expected outcome of winning the lottery (unless you argue the outcome of spending all of the money), so the old man dying does not count as a result of winning the lottery. Any sort of expected outcome of winning the lottery would be to spend all of the money. Any result of winning the lottery would be just that- spending money. The man dying has no actual tie to winning the lottery- he didn’t die because he won the lottery; he just keeled over the next day with, I assume, no warning at all. The two events are not related, therefore this fits no definition of irony.

It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay

How is this even considered ironic? I just… I don’t even know. It is gross, yes, but ironic? No.

It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late

This is not ironic either. You can argue that the expected outcome of the death penalty is…death. And this guy was executed. So the result was…death. The result and expected outcome are one in the same- they are harmonious. It really, really, really, REALLY sucks that he was pardoned two minutes after his execution, but this isn’t an ironic situation.

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
“Well isn’t this nice…”

This verse could possibly be stretched to fit into the situational irony category. The expected outcome of the flight was to live through it, and the result was a plane crash. But what Alanis is going for here, is that he was afraid to fly his whole life, and then when he did, the plane crashed. If you look at it from the first point of view, that you wanted to survive the flight and didn’t, then it could be ironic. If you look at it from Alanis’ point of view- no, I don’t believe this is an ironic situation. Just another really, really unfortunate one.

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife

Again, really unfortunate situations, but none of which that are really ironic. There is no real result/expected result of a traffic jam. You just want to be out of it. So being late for work, then getting caught in a traffic jam isn’t ironic, it is just bad time management on your own part.

No smoking sign on your cigarette break could possibly be stretched if you wanted to say the expected result of your break was to smoke, and the actual result was that you weren’t allowed, but even then it doesn’t really work.

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife is a terrible predicament to be in, but not ironic. Unless you lived in/worked in a utensil factory- that would be more ironic.

Meetig the man of my dreams then meeting his beautiful wife- not ironic but really, really sad.

So, as awesome as this song is, I must crown it unironic. Happy BEDA everyone!

.

*In some cultures, this is considered lucky.