Tag Archives: rant

I love my roommate and her low tolerance for pain. Really low tolerance for pain.

Story time.

In travel writing today my professor handed back our papers that we wrote for our midterm. Except for mine. I got the privilege of staying after class and then receiving my paper, on which I expected to see a huge fat C. When the students had filtered out of the room my professor handed me my paper and brightly shining on it was a huge fat C. So why did I have to stay after? I’m sure I didn’t get the lowest grade. Then Richard started talking.

Richard: “Well, I must say you write beautifully, but I’m not sure if this was intentional or not, but you didn’t really answer the assigned question.”

Me: “Okay? How so?”

Richard: “Well you summarized the book.”

Me: Blank stare. Because of the five questions he asked I picked the one that pretty much required that you summarize the books.

Richard: Starts to flip through the pages of my paper and about ten of the thirteen pages have a huge line through it with the words “PLOT SUMMARY” written in a barely legible handwriting. As if I wouldn’t have gotten the message from the first page.

Me: I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry.

Richard: “You see? I mean, you did I nice job summarizing, but you really just gave me an encyclopedia version of what I just read.”

Me: “Well I can assure you that I did not intentionally not answer your question. I guess I misunderstood what you were asking.”

Richard: “Well you could use some secondary sources. Its just a summary of the books.”

Me: “Okay.” I am not going to cry I am not going to cry I am not going to cry.

Richard: “And if you want you can rewrite it and possibly bump your grade up.”

Me: “Awesome. Okay. Thanks.”

Richard: Still has the paper in his hands and is still going on about- you guessed it- the fact that I summarized the books. As if I don’t get the point.

Me: “Okay.”

Richard: Rambling.

Me: “Okay. Yea.”

Richard: Still Rambling.

Me: “Okay. Yea.”

Richard: Sensing that he has gone on far too long, gives me my paper.

Me: I (totally not- but kind of- meaning to) open the door with greater force than necessary and walk out.

So now I have to rewrite a 3,000 word paper. Which I mean, is nice that he gave me another chance and I am really grateful please don’t get me wrong, but… I HAVE TO REWRITE A 3,000 WORD PAPER. Basically all he liked from my first paper that is somewhat usable is the last paragraph. Comprised of around 126 words. But hey! At least I write beautifully. ha. ha. ha.

Tonight I tried working on the paper, but after an hour and forty-five minutes of sitting in front of the computer screen looking at a somewhat blank word document (I had my 126 word paragraph as my introduction) I realized I had no idea what I am supposed to be writing this paper on. So I decided to email ol Richard. Still anxiously awaiting that reply. And as it turns out, the other girl who chose this topic (there were five to choose from) got a C+ on her paper. She didn’t use any secondary sources either. Not because we are bad and intentionally don’t do what we are asked, but because we both took the very vague question and ran in a completely different direction than what he wanted. And he expected us to be mind readers. Silly Richard.

In other news, I bought an amazingly cute coat today. Shopping is awesome.


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“Buy me something pretty…”

I love this movie.

Not a day goes by where I don’t find a way to quote it at least ten or fifteen or fifty times.

Tonight my sister and I saw the Sound of Music on Broadway… or rather in the “West End.” During the underground ride over to the theater my sister was eating a sandwich and there were two guys sitting across from us, talking rather loudly about how every time they are on the last train home and they haven’t had any supper they find that someone is always eating across from them. Then one of them proceeded to explain how he thought it was ok to kill that person and take their food because he was hungry. Survival of the fittest I always say. Then we got off the tube and tried looking for the theater but were a bit turned around. So I went up to the nearest news paper stand and asked the man where the theater was, and as I tried to pronounce the name correctly the man couldn’t tell me because he was too busy laughing at my pronunciation. Then I was all “Or whatever its called…” and he smiled at me and I was laughing too so it wasn’t all that bad. He gave us our directions and found the theater. When they announced for the audience to turn off their cell phones the man speaking welcomed us. Turns out I pronounced the name correctly and Mr. news paper man was mistaken. So point for me.

The play its self was not bad at all; In fact I quite enjoyed it. I don’t think my sister did as much as me though. Oh well. The music was great and the children were AMAZING. Seriously. Little Gretl had everyone in the audience wrapped around her finger. So adorable. And while the woman who played Maria was a good actress, her singing voice was surprisingly so-so at certain points. As for the Captain… well he left a lot to be desired. He overacted, making dramatic facial expressions and hand movements. I was laughing at him more than I was convinced of anything he said. And then there was his singing. My sister is convinced he is getting over a cold. I think she is being nice. He just can’t sing. He is no Christopher Plummer that’s for sure. But like I said, I really enjoyed the play and would def. go see it again (…if someone else paid.)

Also last night we got half priced tickets on a whim and saw Spamalot again. I’m telling you internet, I think it is my new favorite musical. Our seats were actually better last night than our first performance but sadly the original King Arthur and Lady of the Lake were on instead of the understudies. And may I just say it sucked. Just their parts really, the rest was fine as usual.

**Warning: Lauren is about to go on a rant** May I just say that I do not think it is a good idea, ever, for a reality show to be held where the winner is given a spot in a Broadway/ West End play. Lets examine the evidence shall we? My friend Jessica went to NYC for Christmas/ New Years and saw Grease. In it was the girl and guy who won that reality show “Your the One that I Want” where they found the new Danny and Sandy. I watched one episode of it and said “ew gross.” Jessica said they (mostly Sandy) were not good at all. And why is that? Because they have the contestants sing modern rock/ pop/ whatever songs. That may work for American Idol, but don’t you think if you are going to be winning a spot in the THEATER showbiz you may want to sing some SHOW TUNES???? Seriously. Yes, you may be able to belt out any Mariah Carey song, Beatles song, any song really, but can you belt out Without Love from Hairspray (the musical version not the stupid butchered one they used in the movie)? What about Here I Am from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? Or Out Tonight from RENT? Can you put the passion in Mama Who Bore Me and Whispering from Spring Awakening without turning it into some rock ballad? Then there is Defying Gravity from Wicked, which only a select few can master like Idina could. What? You don’t know if you can? Because you are too busy cranking out pop songs that don’t have vocal ranges like the majority of the show tunes you are going to be singing??? And don’t even get me started on the fact that they totally neglect the acting aspect of the process.**Abrupt end of rant.**

I said all of that to say the Lady of the Lake became the Lady of the Lake by winning a reality show called “The Search for the next Lady of the Lake” or something like that. And could she sing? Yeah, when it called for her to do impressions of rock stars like Cher or Elvis or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, she had a great voice. But she sounded like she was constantly giving a rock concert. When it came time for her to just flat belt it out and give it that classic Broadway whatever, we found her screeching and just kind of talking her lines out rather than singing them. The previous Lady of the Lake that we saw rocked my socks off. And she was theatrically trained. Not that I am saying you need to be a theater major/minor to be able to get up there, give it your all, and walk away with a Tony. No, no, no, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is don’t have a contest where you belt out modern songs, win, then can’t hit the range required in the show you are now starring in.

But enough about that. The King Arthur also sucked. Major. At one point Arthur kind of makes a face at the conductor as part of one of the joke in the play. But no. Mr. I-improvise-waaaaaay-too-much broke character and started speaking Indian…because he was Indian… but it just wasn’t funny. Then he improvised a lot more and you could tell the other actors weren’t really playing off of it, because they were smart and didn’t think it was all that funny and the jokes sort of fell flat and were just plain awkward. It didn’t help much that he looked and sounded like and Indian version of Michael Scott with a British accent. That just made me laugh.

A lot.

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I set my alarm for 7:30 so I can hit “snooze” enough times to actually get out of bed at 9.

Have you ever seen me in a state of panic?

No? Its a rather amusing site. Take tonight for example.

It was supposed to be a simple night. I watched You’ve Got Mail (one of my FAVORITE movies) and laughed, and cried (yes. I do cry in that movie. The scene where she talks about closing the store and missing her mother so much she can “hardly breathe.” And then the scene where she turns off all the lights and sees her mother and the child version of herself twirling. And then when she goes to Fox Books and talks about the shoe books…) and quoted the majority of the movie to no one in particular.

Then I got ready for bed and got together my camera for tomorrows adventures of the Globe, the London Tower and the London Bridge. I took my already used roll of film out and placed it with the others sitting on my desk, all anxiously awaiting to be developed. And then I noticed something. Something terrible. Where three rolls of film should have been sitting, there were only two!

Now, normal people would be calm and say, “gee, I need to find my other roll of film” and then casually look for this missing roll while being all normal and stuff. But am I normal? Not in the slightest. I start to freak out, shout to my sister (who is in bed trying to sleep) that “OH MY GOSH I AM MISSING A ROLL OF FILM.” Like my cat just died or it is the end of the world and we are fixing to be struck by an asteroid or something dramatic like that. She, being normal, says “Oh, did you look in your purse?” My response was an eye roll full of all kinds of drama. Of course I looked in my purse. I also looked in a purse I hadn’t used but once since she has been here. I looked in my closet, in the grocery bag, on my desk, behind my desk, in the trashcans (it was really gross), on my desk again, behind the bed, under the bed, in the shopping bags, on my roommates desk, behind my desk again, in my two purses one more time, under my roommates bed (the bed I am sleeping on while my sister is here), in the dirty clothes pile, in my sisters suitcase, on my desk again (because, hey, third times a charm right? wrong.) in the closet, in my purse in case I missed it the first two times, on the floor, in the box my mom recently shipped to me, in my coat pockets, in my sisters coat pockets, in my sister’s shopping bags, etc, etc.

And I still haven’t found it.

But at least my room is cleaner.

***Update: This just in!! While waiting for my sister to get ready this morning I looked through every single place mentioned above, just one more time, just in cases. After going through all of my shopping bags again I thought “hey! This is a lost cause!” and then my sister said “look in my bags one more time.” And she handed me one of her shopping bags. And guess what was in there!! MY FILMMMMMM!!! (which was NOT there last night.) Soo right now I am so frickin happy I could sing. Which I will. Right now.***


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I just wrote ten postcards and two regular cards. My hand hurts.

I would just like to clear up two small issues.

1. My sister and I are not, nor have we ever been, twins. We don’t look anything alike. Seriously people.

2. My eyelashes are real. They are not fake. I do not glue them on in the mornings. They are just *that* long.


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Another post in which Lauren talks about Twilight.

First things first: Its not that I hate Edward. Don’t get me wrong.

But do I love him as much as I did when I first read the books? No.

Ok so lets begin. My thoughts when I first read the books were “this Edward kid sure is nice and all, but what man in his right mind talks like this??” There were many times that I read the books and actually laughed out loud at the cheesiness of his lines. Seriously. But I didn’t have anyone to tell because Jessica is 100% in love with Edward so there is no way she would agree with me.

Then I found this video on youtube (which does contain a spoiler about the character of Jacob, btw):

Finally!! I found someone who agrees with me!! It’s a fun feeling. Now I know the following statement may not make sense to you, but it does to me. Yes, I am very happy Bella ended up with Edward and will always feel this way, but the more I reread the books the more I just prefer Jacob overall to Edward. Doesn’t necessarily mean that he has to end up with Bella, but out of the two guys I would probably be more attracted to Jacob. I’m just saying…


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Going to my happy place…

Yea my professor came into class today and gave us our midterm exam.

That was scheduled for Wednesday.

That he has told us nothing about.

And the camera I was using for my photography assignment broke in the middle of my shoot.

I developed my film and half of it didn’t turn out/was ruined because of the freaking camera that broke.

This travel writing paper may just be the end of me.

I don’t understand why people can dump all of their problems on me and expect me to solve them all and give great advice, yet the second I want to talk about whats going on with me they have a million things to do.

I wish my sister was here and we could be having fun instead of me curling up in a ball on my bed and crying.

This isn’t me looking for pity. This is me having no one to talk to.


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Hey look internet! Im not dead!

So its been a few days since I last posted. But I’ve been a bit busy with school and shopping and seeing movies and shopping and hanging out with people. And then there was shopping. So yeah; I’ve been living the London life.

Yesterday I went to the cinema with my friend Macie and we saw The Women. Now this was a movie we both have been wanting to see for a while now, and I am still trying to decide if it was worth the 8 pounds. I think the experience of it all was, but the movie itself? Mehh. We get to the theater and payed for our tickets, and we find that we have assigned seats. Like a row letter then a seat number. So we venture up the stairs into the “theater” and I kid you not it was the smallest theater ever. It had maybe 6 or 7 rows of seats, and there was a curtain in front of the screen with a purple spotlight on it. It felt like we were in a tiny Broadway theater. The previews started up, but first they showed about 20 commercials like you would see on tv. Then the actual movie trailers started and after they were over the curtains closed again. And no one reacted; I am assuming this is normal. Except now the movie is over 20 min late from the time it was supposed to start. So Macie and I just sit there and wait. Finally the movie starts up.

Now I must say that I really love all the actresses that were in the movie. I love Meg Ryan, always have always will no matter what she does to her face, and Debra Messing, so of course I was rooting for them. But in the beginning all I could say was “jeepers these ladies can’t act.” Especially Annette Bening- I don’t know what was up with her. They all felt as though they weren’t relating to each other and it was like a high school play kind of acting. And don’t get me started on Eva Mendes. I thought she was great in Hitch, but for some reason I did not like her in this movie at all. I will admit it got much much much better and I really did end up liking the movie overall. By the end I was practically salivating over Meg Ryan’s wardrobe. But those first few scenes made me wince.

What also made me wince was the problems the daughter was going through. She could not have been more than 12 or 13 and she was stick thin, yet every scene she referenced how fat she was. Yes I think this is an issue today with young girls, even girls my age. You airbrush and tuck and prick supermodels and plaster them on magazines and tell girls “thin is in” and make them want to starve themselves. Its sick, its wrong and it is what our society is about these days. Do I want to be thinner? Of course. Not many girls I know are honestly happy about their appearance. Why? Because the media crams certian ideals down our throats, who cares about the concequences. While I was glad they brought this issue up, I was a bit dissapointed in how they handled it. Yes there are certian clebrities out there who speak about loving thier curves but in the movie it seems as though the older women brushed it off as being “silly.”

The second thing I winced about was the male role (or lack thereof). Now I know this movie is called The Women, and aptly so, and I know it is based off of a (I want to say…) 1939 remake which does the same thing, but there was not one man in the entire movie. Not in the main roles, not in the background, not in the pictures on the walls, not in any sort of statue shown; even the dog was a female. Actually the only guy shown was the baby at the very very end of the movie. I can’t make up my mind if I liked this or not. The whole movie is about Meg Ryan’s husband cheating on her and her battling with what to do. Kick him out, get a divorce, work through it? Meanwhile they find the woman he is having an affair with (the perfume woman at Saks… “the spritzer girl”) and try to scare her away/put up a fight. Yet the audience never sees the husband. He is mentioned, referred to, there is a letter he writes, a few phone calls he is supposedly on, but no voice or face is ever heard or shown. At first I wanted to see him, to show them in the argument when she finally confronts him. But I suppose the more I think about it, it is a good thing they don’t because the movie is technically supposed to be about the women and what they are going through, blah blah, its late, I’m tired and that is the best argument you will get from me right now.

All in all it was a different experience that I was hoping for. I would like to see it again, though I don’t think I will put another 8 pounds ($15.40) into it. Lets just hope the Brideshead Revisited is everything I have built it up in my mind to be. I can not wait for that one and I so will drop 8 pounds to see it. Please don’t disappoint me Matthew and Emma!!


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A shoebox of lies…

This post is to all you boys, on behalf of my friend who cried on my shoulder today. If you are going to break up with a girl, could you please grow a pair and have the decency to call her instead of texting her you have “had enough of this and think you should just be friends”.



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I am so sick of reality tv. Have we lost the ability to script anymore?


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Unnessary Realizations of my life:

1. I think I may have figured out why I am not typically drawn towards action movies. Whenever the protagonist (or really anyone with significance to the story line) is being attacked it takes waaaaay longer than necessary. Seriously? ADVANCE THE PLOT. I do not need to see him/her attacked by thirty ninjas, who seem to never die, especially when two or three would have done the job.

2. I forgot how much I love the Phantom of the Opera. But as much as I love it, it makes me so sad because the poor Phantom is so misunderstood. He can’t help that he is creepy and stalkerish and did I mention creepy? He is lonely and sad and I fall in love with him more and more each time I watch the movie and listen to the soundtrack. I want to hug him! By the end of the movie I am tearing up…but the true sobs come when the Phantom sings “Masquerade” while he is just all alone. If you do not know what I am talking about, because for some reason unknown to me you have not seen the movie, then for pete’s sake, go rent it and watch it. Because it is that amazing.

3. I miss my roommate.

4. How to annoy me: Think that just because I am an English major you should be able to correct my every single grammatical error, loudly, in front of everyone. I am human. I make mistakes, god forbid. I don’t correct you all the time. And believe me, I could.

5. John and Kate Plus Eight is quickly becoming my favorite show ever.

6. I do not know what I would do without TLC channel. Go wedding shows!


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