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The Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Be Watching CSI: MIAMI Over CSI: LAS VEGAS

So when CSI first started, I was there. I watched with baited breath as they apprehended criminals, I shouted at the television when they missed OBVIOUS clues only to see that it all worked out in the end. I loved this show so very much. This, of course, was CSI: LAS VEGAS. Back then it was just CSI: Crime Scene Investigation because there were no other ones on. Then the network got scared that other stations would adopt the idea and use different states, so they created CSI: MIAMI and hired a down and out David Caruso. Internet, my heart leaped with joy. I love, love, love CSI: MIAMI. Once I started college I had to quit watching it weekly because projects and tests and quizzes and my booming social life got in the way (those frequent trips to Disney didn’t help either). Then I moved to a new school and while I have friends, and a social life, there is no Disney or Downtown Disney to escape to. I find myself with a bit more free time. Watching TV one day I saw a commercial for the premiere of season eight of CSI: MIAMI. Season EIGHT! I stopped watching at the end of season four! So I decided to catch up on the seasons I missed.

Well, I went home this weekend and found myself with no new CSI: MIAMI to watch, which forced me to watch CSI: LAS VEGAS. And Internet, can I just say how much disdain I have for LAS VEGAS now that I have a borderline obsession with MIAMI? That is why I’ve decided to create this special list, just for you. It is a list of ten reasons why you should be watching MIAMI instead of LAS VEGAS. If you’ve never seen either, but maybe you want to watch an episode or two to see if you are interested, please read this and realize that you need to watch MIAMI. I’ve done all the necessary research, YOU’RE WELCOME.

Also, it should be noted that I did not care one little bit about CSI: NEW YORK, so don’t even consider that an option. And without further ado, here are the top ten reasons you should be watching MIAMI instead of LAS VEGAS:

10. Better looking cast.

This is number ten because it is the most superficial of all the entries on this list. But a nice looking cast is a plus for any show, and MIAMI definitely has the better-looking cast. The exception to the lackluster cast of LAS VEGAS is George Eads who plays Nick Stokes. That man is just…. more than exceptionally fine. The exception to the otherwise beautiful cast of MIAMI is, I hate to say, David Caruso who plays our main man (and my personal hero) Horatio.

We are CSI: LAS VEGAS. We are not that pretty!
We are CSI: LAS VEGAS. We are not that pretty!
We are CSI: MIAMI! We have awards for our beauty!
We are CSI: MIAMI! We have awards for our beauty!

9. Closer, more supportive staff.

From the beginning of LAS VEGAS it seems as though Catherine is out for Grissom’s job, even if she has to move to the daytime team. At one point in the series the team actually splits into two separate teams, Catherine leading one and Grissom leading the other. I did not like this. The dynamic was lost and it just felt like a competition. With MIAMI, Horatio is in charge and everyone on the team trusts them with their life, because he is just that good at always being there when needed. No one wants his job because he is just so darn good at it. They know their place, and often Horatio will bail them out of trouble because he trusts them and is always on their side. Grissom is just all, “Do you know what this bug means? No? Are you joking with me right now? I can’t tell because I don’t have social skills. Bye.”

8. More techniques and explanations of the lab.

Oh come on. You may know what DB stands for (dead body) and GSR (gun shot residue) and maybe a few other little terms, but for the most part you have no idea what they are taking about. The great thing about MIAMI is that they find creative ways of working into the dialogue what they are doing, or why they are doing it, or the machine they are using. LAS VEGAS doesn’t spend a whole lot of time showing lab procedures which makes MIAMI more informative, and FUN!

7. It is just brighter.

Okay, I need to state the obvious reason it is brighter. CSI MIAMI focuses on the daytime team. CSI LAS VEGAS focuses on the night team. But! Before you say that makes this stupid, I must submit to you that inside the lab it isn’t that dark. They need to invest in some lights! Pronto! The offices are all gray and black, dark and drab with a sort of macabre feeling. MIAMI is all white and clean and crisp and oranges and blues and color! It is a fun, festive environment they work in.

We are CSI: LAS VEGAS! We like to creep around in the dark!
We are CSI: LAS VEGAS! We like to creep around in the dark!
We are CSI: MIAMI! We can actually see what we are doing!
We are CSI: MIAMI! We can actually see what we are doing!

6. Swamp trumps desert.

You learned this with your basic episodes of M*A*S*H. Scenes in the Swamp were significantly better than the scenes in the open desert, healing some sick family the doctor’s couldn’t communicate with. It is just a fact. The go-to location of MIAMI is the everglades complete with gators and many amazing places to dump bodies, hide cars, drown people, etc. LAS VEGAS has the desert, complete with… heat. I hate the heat. I hate deserts. You can die of thirst and heat exhaustion. No thank you.

Nothing but heat and awfulness.
Nothing but heat and awfulness.
At least if you die here, you die surrounded by pretty trees and nature!
At least if you die here, you die surrounded by pretty trees and nature!

5. MIAMI has an episode telling how the team became the team.

The season premiere of season 8 had continuous flashbacks, complete with characters that have passed away since the first season, and showed how certain people got into the CSI business and how their characters have developed. It was quite entertaining. I loved it.

4. More things happen to the characters.

I originally wanted to put on my list the episode where Ryan gets shot in the eye with a nail gun (season 4 episode 8), because Jonathon Togo’s acting is fantastic, and LAS VEGAS can’t match that. But then I remembered that time Quentin Tarantino came onto LV as a guest director and CSI Nick was buried alive. That episode scared the crap out of me because I do not like watching people in movies and TV shows get buried alive. And if you are thinking this is Uma Thurman in Kill Bill buried alive, you are wrong. This is very different, and a LOT scarier. The episode (s 5 ep 24-25 ) STILL gives me the chills. So I changed this category to more things happen to the characters in MIAMI. Someone is forever getting shot, held hostage, attacked, held at gun-point by ex lovers, etc. LAS VEGAS is all, “do de do de do we like bugs!” See? Boring!

You think YOUR day was bad? This guy has a nail coming out of his eye.
You think YOUR day was bad? This guy has a nail coming out of his eye.

3. MIAMI has more action.

They are all the time blowing things up, shooting people, being shot at, having high speed chases (on land and sea), running after criminals, going to Brazil and killing people… the fun and adventure never ends. Just when you think things are all calm, BAM! Something happens and you are all, “Oh MIAMI. You got me again!” I mean, by the end of one episode Horatio would have caught the suspect, gotten him to talk, gotten him to give up his drug pals, taken down the biggest underground drug rings in Miami, gotten his son out of jail, saved his CSI from impending death, AND have time for a quick moment to gaze out of the window, taking it all in. Grissom? He would still be at his desk wondering what a specific bug was trying to tell him.

2. MIAMI Justice.

Here is a clip. You do not need to know what the setting events are for this scene, you just need to know that this would NEVER happen in LAS VEGAS.

And finally, I present to you the number one reason why you should be watching CSI MIAMI over CSI LAS VEGAS.

1. Horatio’s infamous opening one-liners.

The first season doesn’t have the high quality one-liners because they were still in development at the time. By the end of the first season you see them coming into play, but they just get better (and by better I mean cheesier) as the seasons go on. This is what makes the show worth watching. The first few minutes of the show sets up the murder with Horatio and his team showing up on the scene. Horatio talks to someone, be it another CSI, the lead detective cop guy, or the medical examiner, and somehow they set him up for the PERFECT line. Then, of course, comes the theme song Who Are You sung by The Who. The thing that makes these moments so perfect is the timing of when he puts the sunglasses on. I found a video for you (the short version), compiling some of the great one-liners. Enjoy.

I hope this list helps you realize the amazingness that is CSI: MIAMI and the just-okayness that is LAS VEGAS. I know you will make the right decision. If not, I could always get Horatio to persuade you.

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Somewhere My Mother is Wondering Where She Went Wrong.

Over on my Bullshish blog I posted a review about a freaking fantastic web series I watch called Dorm Life. You should be watching this too. My mother doesn’t understand why I love it so very much. I don’t understand why she apparently hates happiness. But still, we learn to survive with each other. Anywho, go check it out!

This isn’t real life. This is Dorm Life.

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