Monthly Archives: March 2009

One day I will have enough interesting things to say for a real post. But for now, enjoy another list.

If you have ever spent over ten minutes with me you may notice that I quote a lot of movies in regular, everyday conversation. I mean, why try and scrape together words that will only do what you are thinking half the justice, when a movie line can say it so much better?

However, a lot of times I end up quoting movies in conversations and the specific lines I choose serve no real purpose to furthering along the point of what we are talking about. Sometimes people just say casual, everyday words and *poof* the quote comes into my head and all of the sudden I am saying it before I realize what exactly I am doing, and then the person I am talking to becomes quite confused and thinks I am a crazy, and I have to totally dismiss the incident as if it never happened (just like this run on sentence). So if you ever find yourself in a conversation with me, I will more than likely quote a movie. And if you talk to me a lot, you will see a pattern. So off the top of my head here are the top five movies I quote. Remember, there is no real sense to my quoting them. I just do.

5. Sleeping Beauty

This was quoted a lot more as a child, but from time to time I slip into random monologues from this movie. The best part about my quoting Sleeping Beauty is I know the movie so well that every quote (when necessary) comes with its own sound effect.

Favorite line(s) to quote: (there are far too many so I am simply choosing the first one that I think of)

Maleficent: “You poor simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me, *me*! The Mistress of all evil! Well, here’s your precious princess. [insert evil laugh here]”

4. Drop Dead Gorgeous

How could anyone watch this movie and NOT come away with a totally awesome quote?! If you have never seen this brilliant mockumentary about beauty pageants, stop what you are doing and go rent it NOW.

Favorite line(s) to quote:

Amber Atkins: “This is bullsh*t!”

Iris Clark: “Amber Atkins! That is not American Teen Princess Language!”

Amber Atkins: “Well this *isn’t* American Teen Princess..this is…this is… NAZI GERMANY!”

3. The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood

I absolutely adore quoting this movie, because when one does quote it the lines require you to use this particular dramatic southern drawl that is just magnificent.

Favorite line(s) to quote: (I have two favorites)

Grandma ‘Buggy’ Abbott: “Whatever you did to make your father give you this ring is a mortal sin.” (that is to be said with the most hateful southern drawl you can get. This may not sound like a good quote, but when said with the right amount of hatred and flair, the effect can be dazzling.)

Sidda Lee Walker: “I am so sick of her tantrums and drunken rages! I heard the ice clinking in the glass momma! Sounds of my happy childhood!”

2. Walk the Line

This is one of my favorite movies ever. Also one of my favorites to quote as it too requires some sort of southern flair (at least for June Carter Cash’s lines).

Favorite line(s) to quote: (again, too many to choose so I am picking my favorite two)

Jerry Lee Lewis: “Were all going to hell for the songs we sing.”

June Carter Cash: “Well what about me Jerry Lee? Am I going to hell?”

Jerry Lee Lewis: “No June, you’re beautiful.”

.

June Carter Cash: “My problem is that it’s 2 A.M. My problem is I’m asleep. I’m on a tour bus with eight stinkin’ men. Rule number one: Don’t propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don’t tell her it’s because you had a bad dream.”

1. Love Actually

I more than likely quote at least one line from this movie every single day. No lie. Also note that all lines (save very few) require British accents.

Favorite line(s) to quote: (more than one, obviously)

Juliet: “Bonoffee pie?” … “Thank God. You would have broken my heart if you’d said yes.”

Prime Minister: “Did you ever have this problem? Of course you did you saucy minx.”

Jamie’s niece: “I HATE UNCLE JAMIE!”

So there you go, my favorite movies to quote and my favorite lines off the top of my head.

Honorable Mentions: Remember the Titans, That Thing You Do, The Shawshank Redemption, Blue Hawaii, Hairspray, and lots more.

What do you like to quote? Do you even notice that you do?

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Oh me, oh life!

This is beautiful.

omfg

One day Internet. One day this will belong in my home.

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Je suis très heureuse!

So basically the past couple of weeks have been really boring for me. The exciting things I have done were NYC (where I saw Captain Hammer in SOHO!!) and Washington, which were really, really fun. Other than that, things have been going like they usually go. I wake up, go to class, get out of class, twitter, go to another class, eat alone for lunch, go to class, twitter, go back to my dorm room, do about 3-4 hours of homework, give up on homework, twitter, watch a movie, call my mother, go to bed, wake up and do it all over again. Classes have been really interesting, just nothing worth posting about. I guess you could say interesting in the educational sense, not in the entertainment sense. But then I got this French assignment and it was amazing. I thought I was doing mediocre in French, that I couldn’t conjugate my verbs and I was failing at life. Then this writing assignment came along and I actually completed it tonight! In like, an hour! So now I am going to post what I wrote, and if you care enough to translate it go right ahead. Or you could just ask me millions of times in the comments and maybe I will post the English version. Or you could just not care at all. Whatever floats your boat.

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Lauren. Je suis anglaise. Avoir 21 ans, et je suis de Bear, Delaware. Je suis petite, avoir les cheveux bruns, et avoir les yeux marron. Je suis active, amusant, et très timide. Je voyage beaucoup Pairs, England, et America. Je suis étudiante; j’étudie la Littérature et je préféré William Shakespeare. Très, très, très  j’adore William Shakespeare!  J’adore ma famille aussi.

Mon père est super. Il s’appelle Jim. Il avoir 48 ans. Il travaille de McLane Company-il est président. Il est très grand, avoir les cheveux gris et avoir les yeux verts. Il est très intelligent, avare, gros, et très amusant. Il est très, très sociable. Il aime la musique classique. Il déteste du shopping, mais je suis adore toujours shopping!

Ma mère est mon ami proche. Elle s’appelle Tammy. Elle avoir ?* ans. Elle travaille en à domicile. Elle est petite, avoir les cheveux bruns, et avoir les yeux marron. Elle est active, très généreuse, intelligent, et optimiste. Elle est sympathique, raisonnable, et heureuse aussi. Je ressemble ma mère.

Ma sœur s’appelle Sara. Elle a 23 ans. Elle travaille en Starbucks. Elle est petite, avoir les cheveux bruns, et avoir les yeux marron. Elle est allergique beaucoup, idéaliste, intéressante, et nerveuse. Elle aime tous les jours surfe sur Internet. Elle préféré toujours dormir.

Mon frère s’appelle James. Il est élève. Il a 18 ans. Il avoir les cheveux bruns, et avoir les yeux marron. Il est très grand. Il est altruiste, amusant, et très, très, très sociable (beaucoup copains). Il est très énergique. Il est sportif, il joue lacrosse très bien! Ma famille pensent James ressemble moi. Nous sommes très fermer.

Ma famille est très intéressante.  J’adore ma famille beaucoup.

So, yeah. It is not perfect, and if you speak fluent French and I just compeltely butchered your language, I apoligize. But at least I am trying, right? That should count for something.

I am also trying to convince my parents to let me do this study abroad. Yeah, I just came back from one, but I can’t help it. It is like legal crack people. This time it is to New Zealand and it is for a month (next January). The only other problem besides convincing my parents to let me go is the actual application process. Apparantly this is going to be pretty competitive to get into because the University set a cap on how many people could go- 30. Thats it! 30 people!! At the info meeting I attended 28 people had already signed up (I didn’t know we could sign up early) so I completed my application that night, and with the help of my roomate I created the best essay those people will ever read. So hopefully that gets me an advantage.

I will keep you updated on the process of my study abroad. And French. Because it makes me so happy when I can put together more than one coherent sentence.

*Mother, I declined to post your age on this contraption called the interent. Your welcome.

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And they lived happily ever after…

Cinderella

I think it has been stressed enough on my blog that I love Sleeping Beauty and loath Cinderella because she is an attention-stealing, money-hungry whore. But sadly, they do not really make nine million adaptations of Sleeping Beauty. And seeing as I have nothing relatively interesting to post about tonight, I have decided to suck up my hatred for the Cinderella and post my favorite adaptations/remakes of the movies. These are in order of my mood at this current moment in time.

5. Walt Disney’s Cinderella

Cinderella
Okay, fine. It’s not that I necessarily hate Cinderella… It’s just that when I was younger I loved Sleeping Beauty and everything was Cinderella. So I formed some sort of warped hatred. But even I must admit that this is a timeless story and given that its Disney, I really couldn’t not include it. Plus those mice are so darn cute.

4. Ella Enchanted

Ella
This movie is so much fun. I love Anne Hathaway and everyone else in this movie- the cast is perfect. The wicked stepsisters are quite unique and that Prince Charming- oh my. That was some nice casting. I like the twist on this story and the magical elements of all the characters, not just the fairy godmother. I also like the variations of the names (“Ella” “Prince Char”).

3. A Cinderella Story

Sam
I absolutely love this movie. I like that you know it is the Cinderella story- the elements are the same (dead dad, evil stepmother/sisters, Cindy becomes a slave for them, ball, etc.) but they are done in a modern way. With Ella Enchanted you still had a sort of period piece and magic, which didn’t make it relatable to nowadays. I like how the names have changed (“Cinderella” becomes “Sam” etc.) and that Cinderella has a best friend (who is the best character of the movie). I also like the modern internet/texting changes and how instead of leaving her shoe at the ball she leaves her cell phone. Genius.

2. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella

Cindy
I love musicals and this is no exception. Brandy makes for a rather lovely Cinderella and Whitney is Whitney- always amazing. This is also the most diverse cast, which makes it all interesting. Bernadette Peters is phenomenal as usual, and the songs are so darn catchy. Seriously, I listen to this soundtrack all the time. It is so fun!

1. Ever After

Danielle
This is by far my favorite remake of Cinderella of all time. This movie is absolutely brilliant; I honestly don’t think there is one thing about it I dislike. And ask my mother- I quote it all the time. The costumes are beautiful, the scenery is amazing and the subtle changes to the original story line work. I think my favorite thing is how the movie treats the story as a real legend starting with the most iconic piece of the movie- the glass slipper. The great granddaughter or great-great granddaughter (I don’t remember which one) has the glass slipper and begins to tell the story. If you have never seen this movie, first- what is wrong with you, and second- stop what you are doing and watch this movie right now. Go. It is amazing.

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Book club book #6: Me Talk Pretty One Day

me-talk-pretty-one-day-0316776963-l

Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day

Author: David Sedaris

Number of Pages: 272

Plot, according to the back of the book:
There was no plot on the back of the book.

Plot, in my own words:
There is no plot. The book consists of a collection of short essays written by Sedaris ranging in topics from childhood memories to living in Paris as an adult.

Thoughts, comments, questions, concerns:
I had no idea what this book was about when I bought it. I just liked the title. So imagine my surprise when this turned into a collection of short essays rather than a story. I wouldn’t really call them short stories, because they seem to be little glimpses of memories he has from going to a speech therapist, and failing miserably, to teaching a college English class, and failing miserably, to living in Paris and attempting to learn French…and failing miserably.

This book was quite hilarious from start to finish. I mean, there was at least two or three things from each story that had me laughing out loud (literally, not the LOL where you type it, but you never really do LOL). The book was split into two parts. Part one was random essays about his life growing up, taking drugs, attempting to be an artist, etc. The second part of the book recalls his time living in Paris. They are equally amusing; though I did enjoy reading about the situations he went through in Paris that were somewhat similar to my own.

The language he uses is so descriptive that sometimes you felt you were right beside him, experiencing these things first hand. The opening story about the speech therapist is brilliant and had me laughing the entire time. His parents make for hilarious characters and part of me wondered if any of this was exaggerated, because no one could possibly have a parent like that. And then I thought about some of the things my parents have done, and some of the things my friend’s parents have done, and I realized yes, yes you could.

And now for one of my favorite excerpts:
“For the first twenty years of my life I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.” (pg.248-249)

Bottom line:
This book was hilarious, and quite an easy read. The good thing about the essay form is when you do not have a lot of time to sit down you can just read a few of the entries without feeling as though you would be lost if you sat it down for a few hours or even a couple of days. The manner in which he tells the stories is hilarious. Some are sad, though only for a brief moment or two, others downright awkward and disturbing. I really recommend this book. I liked it so much I went and bought one of his other books- Naked, and I really can’t wait to read it.

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I have this idea.

I think what I am going to do is start writing down all the horrible, funny, crazy things my roommates have done. Then one day I will write a book about dorm life, and how I lived with some of the most insane people.

Here are just a few ideas of what I have lived with.

1. One particular roommate would always take naps on my bed, using my pillow, and my stuffed animals. I told her I might have pink eye, thinking that would keep her off my bed (and I really thought I had it) but she continued to sleep on my bed. Even after I asked her to stop.

2. One particular roommate would complain that she would get freezing cold every single time I turned on the air conditioner. [And we lived in Florida, so it was rather hot.] I discovered that she was most likely freezing because she was in booty shorts and a sports bra.

3. One particular roommate slept with so many things on her bed (we had bunk beds so the room would be bigger) that during the night I had things such as belts, granola bars, shoes and other various items fall on my face.

4. One particular roommate had a particular obsession with locking the doors. While I think it is a good thing to lock the door, if you know me at all, you know I HATE locking doors. But considering where we lived and such, it was a good idea to lock the door if we are sleeping, or leaving for class, or for the weekend, etc. [in other words, when we were NOT going to be in the room for a lengthy period of time.] What I don’t quite agree with the latest thing she asked of me. She stated (numerous times) that if she was not in the room at the time, would I would lock the door when I left to use the bathroom. Lock the door to use the bathroom. !!!!

5. One particular roommate didn’t have a computer, so from time to time I said she could use mine. What I found her doing was looking up STD’s and such, because surprise! She thought she had one! I found this out after someone saw it in my “browser history” and asked me about it.

Please keep in mind that none of the above are from the same girl, and that I do love all of my roommates (well, the large majority of them). The first real roommate I had (I had “housemates” before I moved on campus) seemed difficult at the time, but she is one of the two normal ones I lived with. Out of the five, I would only live with two particular girls again. And even they had some unusual tendencies. I must say, while these are mere snippets of life with the girls, I have some of the best roommate stories around.

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WTF???

You know when you were a kid in school and your teacher would present you with…lets say a math problem. And your teacher would inform you how to find the area of a square and how to square root problems and find angles and such. And then you would say to yourself, “when am I ever going to use this?” But that summer your family needed to re-tile the kitchen and you found yourself finding the area of a square, etc., etc. because you were the one in your family who knew how to do such things. Then a  few years later your teacher would explain to you how to find x, and figure out what sine and cosine and tangent were, and how to graph a function, and you just sat there like, “okay, seriously, I stuck with you during areas and whatnot, but unless I become an engineer, or a math teacher, when am I ever going to use this in real life?”

And that time you were right. You perused your degree in journalism, or theater, or fashion, or English, and you never found the need for that retarded graphing calculator that cost so much money and took up so much room in your clean, neat, organized desk drawer. And you were angry. Angry for wasting your time listening to a math teacher who clearly had no idea what he was doing and you left the class knowing about as much as you did going into it? No? Was that just me?

Well I am at a point in my life where I have come to such a situation, yet again, only this time instead of a math class, I am sitting twice a week in a linguistics class. Every Tuesday from 3:30-4:45 I sit and listen to my professor inform us about the study of the English language (which, I may point out, English is not my professors first language. But that is besides the point). And then Thursdays from 5:00-6:15 I get to listed to my T.A., who thinks he knows just about everything about every single language, inform me that I am doing problems wrong and that “linguistics is fun! Let’s do another problem so I can embarrass you!”

Now like I said, linguistics is the study of language. I have been in this class for just over a month, and I still have no idea why this is mandatory for my degree. I mean, I know I am going to be teaching English to students, but you would think my time would be better spent learning etymology and the root of words, where they come from, what they mean. You know, useful stuff. Not this crap we are suffering through in linguistics. You see the first thing thrown at you in linguistics is a whole new alphabet. Yes, we now have to learn the IPA (international phonetics alphabet) and surprise! You now have 12 or 14 (I can’t be bothered to go look) vowels instead of the usual a-e-i-o-u. Oh and to add to all of that, the vowels are pronounced differently that we say them. “a” becomes the “o” sound heard in “pot” and the “a” sound heard in “bat. “e” becomes the “ai” sound heard in “bait” while “i” becomes the “ee” sound heard in “beet.” “o” becomes the “oa” sound heard in “boat” and finally “u” becomes the “oo” sound heard in “boot.” I should probably mention that there is no capitalization in the IPA alphabet.

Confusing, no? And that is just for half the vowels, not even touching on the consonants. This is just one way I dislike linguistics. Today we had a quiz, and it was during this quiz that I actually figured out how to do one of the problems I skipped on my homework assignment. Keeping in mind that this class is totally ridiculous, here is a sample problem from my homework that was featured on my quiz.

Instructions: Translate the following phonetic transcriptions to the corresponding English sentences.

2. dεlәwεrIzbItwinnujɔrkændwaʃIŋtәndisiændklostәfIlәdεlfIә

So here is how we would solve this.

Step 1. Translate it into the literal phonetical sentence, which would then appear as:

delawerizbitweennooyorcandwashingtandeeseeandcloastaohiladelphia.

Step 2. Break it down into a sentence that sort of begins to make sense:

delawer iz bitween nooyorc and washingtan deesee and cloas tao hiladelphia.

Step 3. Translate it into an actual English sentence.

Delaware is between New York and Washington D.C. and close to Philadelphia.

Step 4. Pop a few pills because you have about six or so more of these.

Now that I know how to actually do the problem, it seems sort of fun. I still can not figure out the first one on the homework, but seeing as I already turned it in, there isn’t a whole heck of a lot I can do about it now. We sort of learned how to do this in class and then it was on the quiz I took today, which is where I actually figured out how to do it, seeing as it is not a good idea to leave things blank on a quiz.

But as “fun” (read: sarcasm) as that seems, I still have yet to figure out the point of this class. What do I care if a honey bee can do a dance to point towards pollen? What do I care that animals have different warning calls for danger? What do I care that an ape can supposedly learn sign language? Okay, that one is actually kind of cool, though I am only halfway convinced that an ape can fully learn sign language. And back to the question that still haunts me, years out of high school, when am I ever going to use this in real life?

Please, someone let me know.

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