Tag Archives: dorm life

Some Observations about University Life.

This morning I had a hair appointment with my amazing hair stylist Jamie. She dyed my hair blue again, blah blah you don’t care about the details. I then proceeded to the grocery store to get the ingredients to make one of my father’s favorite sandwiches because the AUBURN! game is on and heaven forbid if anything bad happen the day of the AUBURN! game then someone somewhere will surely die. Then I came home, spent a large portion of the afternoon with my brother watching The Big Bang Theory (an amazing show, but that is another post for another time). Later I headed back to campus, and as I turned onto the street before the street on which my parking garage sits, I passed a bunch of houses students rent out for the year. There were large groups of people walking here and there and I noticed the majority of girls in black shirts, jeans, and black boots. I thought nothing of it really; these bimbos don’t hold my attention for long. However, as I pulled into the parking garage I noticed quite a few more girls all wearing black shirts, jeans, and black boots. And that got me thinking. Is there some sort of event held where you had to wear a black shirt, jeans and black boots?

And THAT got me thinking about all of the random things that run through my mind on a typical basis. My university is quite peculiar, whether it be the signs posted everywhere for the appropriately named WOODY’S bar that is only open for men of the homosexual nature to signs saying “how do you know it was a good night if you can’t remember?” So here are some random observations about my university.

First let’s start off with the freshman. The freshman (girls mainly) do what we like to call “instabond.” The know each other for five seconds and are already best friends FOR LIFE. Give them to the end of the semester and I guarantee they will be exchanging measurements because, duh! They are going to be bridesmaids in each others weddings! You didn’t get the memo? After they have a few heart to hearts in class they will slowly drift apart and split up into smaller groups who are suddenly FURIOUS with the other group. Eventually they all hate each other and the next semester they do it all over again. It is a tragic tale that I am currently observing every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in my French class. If you care to know the status, they just split into two smaller groups. Let the entertainment begin.

Next we have our bikers. No, I don’t mean the cool motorcycle bikers. I mean people who ride bikes from one end of the campus to the opposite end of the campus in a desperate attempt to make it to class on time while the rest of us only have fifteen minutes to get from Memorial Hall to Willard Hall and since we have shorter legs we practically have to run to make it to our psychology of education class. Or you know, something along those lines. Well these bikers are MEAN. They are so mean, that I don’t really think you can call them mean until you have been hit by one, but don’t worry! That should happen any day now. Obviously since I made up that rule, you can gather (correctly) that I have, in fact, been hit by a bike. His handlebar WHACKED my elbow while I was walking to class. And then there was that one time where I was walking in a perfectly straight line to class and this bike, coming from the opposite direction, just sort of decided he wanted to go where I was walking, even though he had enough room on the walk way, so he starts veering directly in front of me and I have to dash out of his way to avoid having a collision. Stupid bike people.

While the bikers are mean, they are nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compared to our gems in student health. I think the term “mean as snakes” is too nice, and for once I am not exaggerating. The receptionists, nurses, doctors- all of them! Mean, mean, mean ladies. I try to avoid this building as much as possible, but sometimes I have to go and it makes me die a little inside. It is like they don’t want you there but they can’t really do anything about that because if we weren’t there they would be out of a job so they go out of their way to make us miserable, which isn’t really all that nice seeing as we are in student health because we already are miserable from being so sick. I went because I had to get a TB test in order to observe at a high school and I was really sick (going on two weeks) so I told the nurse and she was all YOU! YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR NOW! (Okay even I have to admit this was the nicest lady I’ve ever encountered there.) She completely disregarded the rules and got me an appointment with the doctor that day. Then I had to spend the next hour listening to every stinking nurse and receptionist and doctor tell me “DO NOT EXPECT THIS NEXT TIME. IT IS VERY RARE THAT YOU GOT TO SEE THE DOCTOR TODAY. IN FACT, THAT NURSE USED AN APPOINTMENT TIME SHE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO. DO NOT EXPECT THIS EVER AGAIN.” After the eighth or so time of hearing this I was growing irate. (I was already extremely angry at the mean ladies, so irate is the next step in Lauren Land.) The doctor then said it for what would be her third time, and I could no longer hold back the irateness. I looked at her and said, “Oh don’t worry I don’t plan on coming back here. I have a normal doctor in town but I couldn’t get an appointment with her until next week and this has been going on for two weeks now so this was a last resort.” After that, she was quite decent.

Next we come to what I like to call the “Gap Ad Effect.” This happens during the start of school as well as the end when the weather is nice enough for the girls to hike up the shorts and wear as little clothing as possible. My university holds preview days for a few weeks and people from all over come to visit the campus and go on guided tours and watch us walk by and gawk at real college kids! During this extended period of time students crawl out of their hiding places and sit on the grass outside, strumming guitars, holding hands, gazing at the sky, playing frisbee, playing football, all in crisp clean (at least I hope) clothes. I kid you not when I say during these weeks my campus looks like a non-stop gap ad. It is hilarious.

Lastly we have the frisbee lovers. Now, I don’t know what it is about this place, but these kids sure do go crazy for a game of frisbee. I mean you can’t walk from one side of the campus to the next without seeing at least five different games going on (it is a very long campus). And these people take this stuff very, very seriously. There is a girl in my grammar class who is on the ultimate frisbee team, and you would think that this is some government operated mission that they are sent on. I can’t even begin to imagine the rules of ultimate frisbee. Are there any rules? I mean, how much harder can you make throwing a frisbee to a member on your team? I don’t particularly care for frisbees, in fact I sort of have a fear of them because at the end of senior year three of my classmates and I were in our school’s lunchroom and we were bored (my computer teacher let us out of class to go empty our lockers) and so we decided to play frisbee with Evan’s plastic tupperware container lid thing, and then Neil hit me with it STRAIGHT in my chest and it really hurt and he was really embarrassed but I was more hurt than embarrassed so now I have a genuine fear of them. And I was walking to class one day and these northerners are playing frisbee outside IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALKWAY and there is no way on earth I can avoid walking past them because I chose to go left that day instead of going right and I’m forced to walk in the middle of their game and this huge white frisbee almost hits me in the head. Terrifying stuff I tell you.

And those, my dear readers, are some observations about my university.

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Internet! I am full of ANNOUNCEMENTS today!

First, I missed you, but I (think) I passed all of my exams. HUZZAH!

Second, I am joining up with CAL and his blog to talk about the female perspective of movies, music, TV, books, etc. In other words, I will be the voice of TRUTH. Check out his regular blog here. Check out my part here. BUT don’t worry, I will continue to update this blog with all of the witty, hilarious stories you are used to. It will just serve as an extra dose of Improbable Fiction, and WHO DOESN’T WANT THAT??

Third, on Cal’s blog he mentioned that he is two months away from the first year anniversary of his blog. This got me thinking about when I started my blog. So I go and look… and Internet, IT HAS ALREADY PASSED!!! While I was busy blogging every day in April it passed right by, unseen, unnoticed, and most importantly, uncelebrated. So I am declaring that at some point in the very, very near future I will give this blog the PROPER celebration it deserves.

Fourth, I moved out of my dorm (finally). It was a sad day for all… okay I can’t even continue with that lie. I mean it was kind of sad because I don’t particularly mind living in the dorms. They are quite convenient when you are running LATE for class, though that never happened to me, no not even once this semester. This is about the extent of what I my father had to move out of the dorms. I did what I do best- supervise.

movin on out

I had a tad bit more- just two suitcases filled with clothes and then there was a fan and stuff. But we got it done in record time! Then we went to my sister’s apartment, helped hang some stuff on the wallz and came home for what was the start of my SUMMER VACATION.

Oh Summer Vacation. I really, really, really do love you.


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BEDA 15: Baby It’s Cold Outside

I can’t believe we have reached the halfway point of BEDA!!

Today consisted of going to French class, eating lunch, going to Jewish American Lit, spending two hours practicing French, spending one hour translating French and then answering questions about what I just translated, going to Walmart for an umbrella, going to dinner, coming home, finishing French homework, printing out notes for History class tomorrow, blogging, watching a movie, going to bed.

All of the sudden my days are getting more and more exhausting. I am hardly in my dorm room and when I am I am either doing homework, studying, or sleeping. But I only have five weeks of class left! So that is good. On the downside these weeks are packed with quite a few papers, tests, quizzes, assignments, etc. I’m not so thrilled about that.

I had this conversation in French class today and it still is making me laugh, so enjoy:

*the girl next to me opens a bag of crackers or something*

me: “Those smell delicious.”

her: “D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S”

me: “What?”

her: “That is how you spell delicious.”

…*it suddenly occurs to me*

me: “I said those SMELL delicious.”

her: “OH! I thought you said how do you SPELL delicious.”

me: “Hahaha, no…”

her: “I don’t just go around spelling random words.”

It was really amusing. Now I am off to finish some homework then watch a movie and go to bed!

Hamlet update: He is doing well. He is just loving his fish tank! When he is feeling social he swims around like a maniac. When he is feeling a bit anti-social he hides in the back behind the plant where no one can see him. This morning I woke up and he was staring at me. He knows his mommy!!!

Have a happy April everyone! See you tomorrow.

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BEDA 14: Slowdancing in a Burning Room

Internet, I got a fish.


I named him Hamlet and he is the cutest thing in the world! And can we just talk about his little fish tank for a second?!! It used to belong to my mother when she had her nightly martini while my father downed the scotch. We checked mom into rehab a few months ago and instead of letting such a gigantic glass go to waste I thought, “eh, why not?”*** Isn’t it the coolest EVER?!?? My roommate loves him and my RA decided to stop by and see what we were so excited about. He loves the fish tank as well!

We were also excited about those little sponges that look like pills and you put them in warm water and they expand into animals… you know you love those things. Well we held up the packet and showed Keith (my RA) and at first he thought they were drugs. HA. It was really funny. We (hopefully) cleared up any confusion and spent the next ten or so minutes watching these animals come to life! Hamlet was quite excited as well and watched from his tank. My roommate’s turned out to be a rhino while I ended up with an elephant.


My sister got her apartment today and it is so cute! Well, she got it a few days ago but she actually moved in today. Also, I had to restore my iPhone and when I did, it loaded EVERY SINGLE PICTURE from my computer to my phone. That is OVER 6,000 pictures! I finally started unchecking random things on the camera settings in iTunes and got them all to go away. That was nice. Now I have free space! Woot!

Have a happy April everyone! See you tomorrow.

***JUST KIDDING. I skipped my linguistics lecture today and went to the pet store where I found this little gem!


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BEDA 5: You Know, We Really Shouldn’t Be Doing This…

Internet I am back at my dorm. I am determined to have a great rest of the semester and for that to happen I need to clean and orginize. It is like when your remote is dead and you put new batteries in it for it to work again- well in order for me to work again I need to spend at least two hours cleaning my dorm room. And by “my dorm room” I mean just my side. I have taken everything out from under my bed, swept, organzied it all and put it back under there. I took everything out of my closet and threw out stuff I didn’t need and put it all back. I organized my closet from sleeveless to short sleeve to long sleeve to dresses to pants to skirts that I have but don’t really wear to coats. I cleaned the top of my dresser and the top of my desk. Now all that is left is to clean out the desk drawers. But I am taking a break to chat with you.

On a different note, before we left for spring break we had to unplug everything and close our windows and all that stuff. Well I live in a dorm that is not blessed with air conditioning. Now I am used to this from England. But the thing of it is, they left the heat on. Why you may ask? Well one year in some dorm they shut the heat off before winter was “officially” over and the pipes froze and basically flooded the building. Now they leave it on the entire winter and into spring, until the weather decides to stick to a temperature at or above 70 deg. So in my room I went and was greeted with hot, humid, gross air. I immediately opened the window and plugged in my fan. That was around… 4:30? 5pm? and it is JUST NOW (7:45 pm) getting cool enough to where I don’t feel as though I am suffocating. Lets put it this way- it was so hot in my dorm room that my poster (hung on the wall by stick tacky stuff) literally MELTED OFF THE WALL. I came in today and it was on the floor. Insanity!

Also, I need your help. If you have any interesting questions you would like to see answered, please leve them in the comments. They can be specifics (though I do have the right not to answer any personal questions for which I do not care) or completely random. Today’s question comes from my friend and fellow nerdfighter Korianne. Check out her blog here or follow her on twitter here. She asks: “If you could be any type of fish what would you be? Mermaids count.”
Well Korianne, I am glad you said mermaids count, because that is so what I would be. I would want to be one of those mermaids that hang out and flirt with Peter Pan and torture Wendy. If I could not be one of those mermaids I would totally be Ariel’s friend ONLY BECAUSE she sings and I would get to sing fun songs with her. Of course she would desert me for a pair of legs and life on earth and I would be SOL. So I think in the long run I would rather torture Wendy.

Be sure to send your questions in! Either comment on this post or send me an @ reply on twitter (find me here).

Have a happy April! See you tomorrow.

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I should probably be memorizing my French hw for my presentation tomorrow but…

I played in the snow instead.

I made an awesome snow angel!

I made an awesome snow angel!

This is what we call an epic win.

This is what we call an epic win. (My roommate the music major.)

I had lost all feeling in my fingers by this point.

I had lost all feeling in my fingers by this point.

This is Harold. I wish I could say we built him, but sadly we are not that good.

This is Harold. I wish I could say we built him, but sadly we are not that good.

Well I probably should go back to my homework. I promise a real post is coming soon, as well as an update for the book club challenge. Here’s hoping classes are canceled tomorrow!


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“It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.”

Bonjour Internet! Ja m’appelle Improbable Fiction (votre prenom, Lauren). Comment allez-vous? Je vais très bien. Çe va? Non? Oui?

Why, yes (oui!). I did just type all of that in French. You see, I haven’t been posting lately as I have just started a new semester of school and I have been very busy moving in and going to class and speaking French. Seeing as I have only had three classes and therefore can not exactly put together many sentences beyond the basic greetings (see above), I shall be typing the rest of this in my native tongue- English. Don’t worry, There will most likely be some sort of French in each post from now on.

Where do I begin? Lets start with my room. Supposedly my roommate and I have one of the larger rooms in our dorm. Compared to my dorm room in Florida (well, the most recent I occupied) it is a tad smaller, though it does have more shelving space. Compared to my dorm room in England, I am living in a palace. I have a rather pretty view of the south green, and *gasp* the library. You could say I am very happy about this. My roommate is rather nice. She is also an education major, like me, though her focus is in music (she plays the flute and just recently beat out a grad student for first chair in ensemble. HA!) and mine is in English. She has rather long hair and always wears it in a braid. She is Jewish. She likes horses. Sometimes we sit and people watch from our windows. We see some very peculiar people. My desk is quite roomy compared to my previous desks, and I have my own closet. MY OWN CLOSET. I almost died when I saw that. One day, when I find the cord that connects my camera to my computer, I will upload pictures.

Just next door from me is my RA, Keith. He put up little things on everyone’s doors with their names on them, and up until two or so days ago I didn’t have one. We randomly met in the hall and he informed me that he would be putting my name on my door as soon as he stopped being lazy (which turned out to be ten minutes). He then asked me if he spelled “Lauren” correctly, or if there were any weird “y” or “i” letters in there. I told him there were, and he had a minor freak out. “There are! Oh man, I spelled it wrong? What is it- a y?” I then proceeded to tell him I was just kidding and we (Keith, my roommate, and I) all had a good chuckle.

Classes are rather interesting. Another good thing about my dorm is I am really close to my classrooms. The farthest is about a ten minute walk. My first class was on the Jewish Holocaust which should be really interesting. My next class was FRENCH, which I am very excited about. Though, I do have a lot of vocab to memorize before my first quiz on Mardi (Tuesday). I actually have French four days a week so that is fun. The only sort of downside is the class is taught by two different professors. On MW we have Madame Poindexter and on TR we have Mademoiselle Grace. They are both extremely nice though so I suppose I can handle it. Then I went to Linguistics which is going to be my most interesting (professor-wise not subject-wise) and most challenging. The class is taught by a Japanese man who… hasn’t quite mastered the English language (it is not his native language). Why do I point this out? Because it is a class all about the English language and how it all fits together and works. So, yeah. Good call getting a foreign speaking person to teach a class about the mechanics of speaking English. Every Tuesday I have a lecture with my professor, but every Thursday I have a “discussion” with my T.A. who is very smart and very confusing. Unfortunately this class is required for my major so there is nothing I can really do about it.

Then I have a MWF class called “Tools of Textual Analysis” (which we have agreed sounds dirty) and basically this is a fancy way of saying “Introduction to Lit” which I have already taken. So why am I taking this dirty class? Well the effing guy hasn’t approved my transfer credit yet. And if he fails to do so by Tuesday, I basically have to retake this class and I will not be having any of that. And then there is my Contemporary Jewish/American Lit class where my professor rocks because he assigned us a bunch of one-page papers, a “longer paper” (1500 words… I wrote at least five of those just in England last semester!), and we get to watch a bunch of movies (one in particular being School Ties which I have already seen… and own…because not only is is a good movie but MATT DAMON is in it, so we will be watching MATT DAMON in class which is pretty freaking awesome). And to top it all off, we don’t have class on April 10th because it is Passover. This class is going to be pretty darn amazing.

So hopefully that explains my absence from this glorious blog. I must now bid you adieu and finish my homework.

À bientôt!


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