I want to be this free, to feel this alive.
Monthly Archives: May 2010
I recently found this poem. I wrote it for my friend Kristen while sitting in a guest lecture that went with a project we did in French class. I didn’t want to be there.
Yo Yo Yo
Stop right there
And I’ll tell you a tale
About how I became friends
With a kick-ass female.
Her name is Kristen
And she’s pretty fly
She loves her boyfriend
He’s a pretty cool guy.
We’re sitting in a lecture
Not really listening to the speech,
The questions are on the posters
The posters are just in our reach.
But we cannot get to them
Because of this damn man talkin,
We want to get out of here
So he better start walkin.
There are so many people
Sittin on the floor,
He keeps askin questions
And I think “There can’t be more”
But his mouth keeps on movin
The words just pour out,
No one gives a crap about his lecture
Of this I have no doubt.
There are people takin notes
Which has got me thinkin,
My eyes are getting dry
So I must keep blinking.
That rhyme didn’t really
Fit with my poem,
But I don’t really care
I just want to go home.
I thought we were only going
To be in here for a short time,
So in my boredom
I’ve written this rhyme.
Picture it. 9:30 in the morning- your first class of the day. You are tired, annoyed and grumpy. Maybe you are sleepy but happy. Maybe you are nothing. But you are dressed. The question is– what are you wearing? Think about this question for a second. Jeans? T-shirt? Pajamas? You are comfortable. Me? I am comfortable, but that comfort comes by way of high heels, and a dress. Or flats and nice pants and a professional shirt. And sometimes it was because I had to go teach in a middle school. But a lot of times…a lot of times I wore “fancy stuff” (according to my classmates) because I just feel more comfortable in it.
I do not play sports. I read fashion blogs, and watch the Food Network. I go and support people who play sports, but let’s be honest: I’d much rather be watching a play.
Today I left campus and spent the day at home, and my brother decided NOW was the time to FORCE ME INTO PLAYING LACROSSE WITH HIM. Now, for you devoted readers (all five of you), you may recall me attempting to explain what Lacrosse is. If not, please reference this post. Anywho, it is terrifying! There are so many people running and having identity issues and etc. So you can’t even imagine me out there, throwing the ball back and forth with my baby brother.
Well imagine no further. In my never ending quest to please you, I documented the (majority) of the process. Since I was terrified I decided to wear gloves, elbow pads, and a helmet. Because you can never be too careful. Please note, I am not wearing shoes.
And just when I thought we had a good thing going, TRAGEDY STRIKES. It was such a TERRIBLE INCIDENT that not even my helmet, elbow pads, or gloves could save me. No, no, it was that fateful decision to NOT WEAR SHOES.
The Stupid Idiot, aka my baby brother, threw the ball and it hit my foot.
So yesterday my friend and I were getting ready to study together for a map quiz that I had for my World Lit class. Because we are in 8th grade. Seriously, I haven’t had a map quiz since high school. It was adorable. Anyway, I’m just putting on shoes and getting ready, no big deal, nothing out of the ordinary, my room’s overhead lights STILL don’t work, blah blah blah when suddenly SOMEONE STARTED FIRING A CANNON.
For once in your lives, I am not exaggerating. I kid you not, they keep a cannon at Memorial Hall, one of the buildings on my campus which happens to be really close to my dorm. So they fire the thing and I’m pretty sure that we are all going to die. And so I did the obvious– because let’s be honest, what else do you do when you are going to die– I tweeted my last words:
And then, because I didn’t think you understood the magnitude of the SONIC BOOM happening over and over and over, I tweeted:
It was so scary. And then it was over. So I decided since I had all of my limbs in tact it would be okay to venture out and get coffee. Because these days, that is all it takes to sustain me. You guys– I’ve been drinking A LOT of coffee. Anyway, that is besides the point. My friend and I were walking to the street on which coffee is sold, when we WENT BACK IN TIME. How is this possible you may (or may not) be asking. I don’t even know. One minute we were in the year 2010, the next minute THERE WERE MEN WITH MUSKETS.
[pictures will be coming when my internet connection doesn’t suck so much.]
As we kept walking we saw more and more military men, some real and some re-enacting. When we got to the street that sells me coffee, I overheard a lady stating the parade was late and it should be starting soon.
My friend and I FREAKED OUT and immediately grabbed spots on the curb. We wanted to be IN THE ACTION. For the next hour we witnessed many military people walking by, waving at us. A lot of them were not real, because I am pretty sure I saw Johnny Tremain. But then all these emergency vehicles came by and it was splendid.
I love parades, but even more than that, I love parades that you just stumble upon. Best part of my day fo sho.
In the end I wrote a song about the countries I had to memorize. I then recorded a video for my friends who also had to memorize these countries. And because I will do ANYTHING for you Internet, I am including it here. Because you need to know (some of) the countries of Africa, Asia, and The Caribbean. Enjoy.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
There is nothing quite like taking out the garbage. Not the actual act, mind you, but taking out the garbage in the larger sense– that is, getting rid of the bag of trash that smells like the place bunnies go to die. Yeah, pretty gross. And you would be surprised at how fast one bag of garbage can stink up a tiny dorm room like mine. Really, really fast. And then I take the garbage out, and spray some stuff, and the room smells quite delightful. Like a garden of hopes and dreams.
I’m currently in the awkward process of packing up my dorm and studying for my one and only final/writing a lot of papers/not really working on my portfolio. And it reminds me of that scene in You’ve Got Mail, you know the one. Where Meg packs up The Shop Around the Corner and when she turns off the lights for the last time she sees the image of her younger self and her mother twirling, and then it cuts to that sign that says they have loved being a part of everyone’s lives…
Excuse me, there seems to be something in my eye.
But yea, it feels like that. I had a couple of friends over last night for GLEE! and they were quite sad to see my room all empty. Granted, I only took down a small portion of the stuff off my walls, but when every single possible space is covered by random bits of nothing, it really looks very empty seeing so much…white. White walls everywhere make for a very sad few last weeks.
Not that I am sad to be leaving the dorm. By all means, get me the heck out of here. No, no. I’m leaving a part of myself behind. I’m growing up. I’m a big girl now. I’m getting a real apartment with a real roommate and I will have things I have to do, classes to take and student teaching to worry about and what if the kids don’t like me? And what if I fail the Praxis? And what if, what if, what if?
So I focus on the little things. I pack up a few things at a time, I do a little work for classes, hang out with friends… and take out the garbage. And suddenly I don’t feel so bad.
Let’s skip over the part where I apologize profusely for not blogging in…FOREVER. Life is busy, and I don’t mean socially busy, you know, the fun kind of busy. Life is busy in the bad way. Too much work, too many papers, too many projects and documentaries I have to make. Also, I’ve only had two presentations, but that is two too many. Let’s see how many times I can use the word two/to/too in this blog.
No, let’s don’t.
Anyway, here we are Internet. Face to face, screen to screen, heart to heart. What has been going on with you lately? Anything good? Tell me about it in the comments. I don’t have interesting things to say, because you don’t want to hear about all the work I’ve been doing. Like the 7 1/2 hours I spent working on an inquiry project. You know, a project where I come up with a research question, do the research, compile it into quantitative data, bind it all together, but then don’t actually write any sort of research paper. At all. That was a fun Sunday morning/afternoon my friends.
I suppose there are *some* things I could tell you. I could tell you about the fact that my roommate takes 3-4 hour naps on an almost daily basis, forcing me to be quiet. OR I could tell you about the time our power went out, and now the overhead lights in our room don’t work, so every time we go to turn on the light switch it is like a mean practical joke the building is playing with us. Speaking of our building, I could tell you about how some moron decided to run the heat in this non-air conditioned building, forcing us to turn our window fans on high, which only pushes around hot air!
Or, I could stop complaining and tell you about things that make me smile:
Iced coffees from Dunkin.
Finding new T.V. shows to get addicted to.
Watching episodes of old T.V. shows and realize I love them more than I ever have.
Finishing fifteen page papers.
Turning over a new page in my calendar.
All the decorations in my dorm room.
Finding $20 I didn’t know I had.
Hanging out with my brother and sister and watching hours of Scrubs together.
And so many other things.
What makes you happy?