It is with my greatest pleasure to inform you that for the next week I shall be aboard THIS:
which means no posts or updates until my return. FEAR NOT! I will (attempt to) keep a fierce record of my journey so that when I return I may rehash it all to you MINUTE BY MINUTE.
So now I must say good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow (or, you know, next Sunday…)
So my birthday isn’t for a few days but seeing as we are going on a cruise my wonderful mother told me I wasn’t allowed to take them aboard the ship, so she decided to give me my gifts early. Here is gift numba ONE:
This (obviously) is the Harry Potter book set, full of sekrits. Before owning this I had the first, fourth, sixth, and seventh book (don’t ask, it’s very weird, I KNOW). So my mother got this for me and I am so, so, so very happy. Unfortunately my invitation for Hogwarts was NOT included, but I’m still waiting patiently.
And now (drumroll starts here) here comes gift numba TWO, a gift SO awesome and SO beautiful it calls for an EXTRA large picture (drumroll abruptly stops and that “ta-da” music plays):
Isn’t it beautiful!!!! I absolutely love Sapphires and have been wanting a Sapphire ring for a while. I mean, I have one now but that will be passed down to my daughter, so I wanted one I can have for keeps.
I absoultely love my gifts! Woot!
And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages of the Interweb, Lauren shall share an amazing recipe with all of you! Right now!
Please, please. Hold your applause. I come to you today not out of necessity of a blog update, but out of the sheer goodness of my heart. You will thank me for this. But first- a story.
A long time ago I was in college in a tiny state I like to call Florida. At this college they had a cafe on campus where you could go and create your own sandwich, or, if you were feeling uncreative, try the weekly special. I went to this cafe a lot because these sandwiches were unlike any I had tried before. They were so good! So fresh! I believe I chose between the same two sandwiches every single time I went, which led me to a predicament. One day I got up to the counter and realized I did not want my normal sandwich. I didn’t even want the backup sandwich choice (for when I grew tired of my normal one). Shocking, I KNOW.
Being friends the cook (he was a jolly giant, a kindred soul, who often gave me lots of extra things on my sandwich and wouldn’t charge me for them… yes, we were close) he recommended the weekly special- a Reuben! Well the only other time I had a Reuben! sandwich before was in NYC and Internet, I can’t tell a lie. I didn’t like it all that much. But I trusted my cook and told him to fire up the grill, mama wants a Reuben! (I think I might have actually used those words…)
He got busy making my sandwich and usually I don’t pay attention to what he is doing because he knew what I wanted and how I wanted it. I paid for my meal, sat down, and proceeded to consume what was possibly the best sandwich of my LIFE. It was like tiny little angels descended down from heaven where they did a little dance on my taste buds. But suddenly, not unlike Cinderella, I looked at the clock and realized I had to go! To class! Soon!! Instead of dropping a glass slipper, I left behind the knowledge of this wonderful recipe.
FEAR NOT! This story has a very happy ending. Not one to give up, I decided I would simply make my own Reuben! I mean, how hard could it be? Once I got all of the supplies, I stood hopeless in the kitchen. How, oh how did he make it! What went where at what time? I was consumed with grief.
But all was not lost. I did things MY WAY. I created a recipe and put what I wanted where I wanted when I WANTED (which turns out is how a lot of people make the sandwich). So I thought I would allow you to have the same opportunity I had. I want you to make this sandwich and fall madly in love with it. [Side note: my father loves this sandwich. I mean LOVES this sandwich. We have to limit him to two or else he could eat just about as many as I could make. For that, I love him.]
Maybe you are thinking, “Silly Lauren! I have already had a marvelous Reuben! before! I do not need your silly recipe telling me what to do!” To which I politely say, “Pish posh.” Or perhaps you are scared to reach out and try a Reuben! again, having previously been harmed by the awfulness of them in the past. To that I say, “The past is the past! I got over my NYC incident! You can get over yours!”
So go! Go and conquer this recipe! And then leave me love in the comments remarking your angels dancing on taste buds experience!
You will need the following:
Butter
Rye bread
Corned Beef
Sauerkraut
Swiss cheese
Thousand Island dressing
A griddle (or something similar to cook it on- frying pan, skillet, whatever you desire)
Once you have all of these ingredients ready, it’s time to get cookin!
Melt a couple pieces of butter on the griddle (enough to coat it).
Take two pieces of rye bread and begin to cook them on the griddle. (You are aiming for them to be golden brown on both sides with a slight crispiness when finished.)
Take a chunk of the sauerkraut and corned beef and begin to cook on the griddle.
Don’t forget to turn over all three of these! The bread will finish first, and as stated before should be golden brown on both sides. The sauerkraut will also turn a nice golden color, while the meat will turn a dark read and get all scrunchy looking. (I know that description sounds disgusting, but it is far, far from it.) Now onto…
Once the bread is done, place it on a plate and coat both pieces with the Thousand Island dressing.
Once the meat is finished, pile it all on one slice of the bread.
The sauerkraut should still be cooking on the griddle, and by this point it should probably be done.
Before you take it off the griddle, lay a piece (or two if needed) of Swiss Cheese over the sauerkraut, completely covering it. Keep this on the griddle until the cheese begins to melt.
Don’t worry, we are almost finished, which can only mean…
Take the Swiss cheese coated sauerkraut off of the griddle and place it onto the lovely sandwhich.
(Pssst- it should look something like the picture below!)
And now it is time that you admired your work by stuffing your face with the sheer AWESOMENESS that can only come from this sandwich.
I hope you enjoeyed Recipe Time with Lauren. Please let me know if you made the sandwich and what you thought!
I have not read all of the following books, but while looking around on this awesome website I couldn’t help but take notice of particular book covers that really caught my eye. A lot of times I will get a book to read based solely on the cover (having no idea what it is about -besides what is on the back) and I often find myself going towards the unusual looking ones which turn out to be the most interesting (to say the least). Here are a few I would pick up:
Book by Naomi Guttman
Cover by David Drummond
Based on the title alone, I am guessing this is supposed to be white blood dripping down an apple, which reminds me of rain dripping down the window, which makes me happy because I love thunderstorms.
Book by Daniel Eatock
Cover by Daniel Eatock
Who doesn’t love a good thumbprint made up of tiny text?
Book by Ellen Ullman
Cover by Jamie Keenan
Is the bug my computer? Is the bug my keyboard? Is the bug some sort of symbol? Only Ellen Ullman knows.
Book by Chuck Klosterman
Cover by Paul Sahre
Every time I hear “sex” and “drugs” I immediately think of a popular breakfast cereal targeted for children. Oh, is that just me?
Book by Patrick Mcgrath
Cover by Peter Mendelsund
Red background= blood= trauma= accurate book title.
Book by Jennifer Traig
Cover by Kelly Blair
This cover is just mesmerizing.
Book by David Sedaris
Cover by Chip Kidd
I can’t express how much I love David Sedaris.
Book by Miranda July
Cover by John Fulbrook III
Such a simple design. Sometimes I just like clean and simple books.
Book by John Dufresne
Cover by John Fulbrook III
This book cover is wicked awesome because how many times have I sat in class and rearranged my sentences? The answer is a lot.
Book by Charlotte Bronte
Cover by Megan Wilson
I don’t know why, but I have always loved a good silhouette.
Book by Benjamin Nugent
Cover by Jason J. Heuer
I wear glasses! I am American! I have also been called a nerd a lot, so this book appeals to me on many levels.
.
*Once when I was bored on a SEVEN hour flight from France to America, a friend let me borrow this. I got almost half way through, and it was very entertaining. I really recommend it. (Also, I just realized that may sound like it took me seven hours to read half a book. It didn’t. I borrowed it towards the end of the flight. Just clearing that up…)
**I’ve read two other books by David Sedaris and I must say he is one of the most entertaining authors out there. I really can’t say anything bad about him. If asked, I would tell you to put his books on the top of your list. His books are comprised of short stories (ranging from as little as four to fourteen or more pages) about his life. They are sometimes crude, sometimes sad, always hilarious at some point and always, always, always extremely entertaining. Expect a full review of this guy soon.
***I knew about this book from previously stumbling upon the author’s lovely blog. When you get a chance you should check it out.
****I know this was supposed to be primarily about books I have never heard before, and I know Jane Eyre is a classic, but I haven’t read it yet so I am counting it. Also, even if I had read it, this has got to be one of my favorite covers for some unkown reason. I really, really like it.
*****Nerds Rule.
Mother: “So my question is, what do we do if your blood tests come back negative?”
Me: “We go to Dr. House”
Mother: “Why so you can make out with him?”
Me: “Well that is just one of the perks.”
Dear Internet, things are about to get personal.
Once upon a time I mentioned (at least I think I did) that I do not like the dentist. I think that goes back to the time where four dentists had to hold me down (okay it was more like one dentist had to hold me down as a child, and when I say “hold me down” I mean hold my face still long enough for him to inflict ENORMOUS amounts of PAIN upon me) and put this contraption known in the dentist world as a “raincoat” in my mouth. Then he did all of this work on my teeth, poking and cutting and God knows what else. All I know is that I left the dentist office thinking he was the spawn of Satan.
Now, you may be asking, why was he the SPAWN of Satan? Why not Satan himself? Well that position had already been filled by the wretched nurse who took my precious blood at the doctor’s office. This woman was very mean. If this were a fairytale, she would be the wicked stepmother or the mean old ugly witch. But since this is REAL LIFE we shall just call her Nurse Bitch. I should tell you that I was only a dear child at the time of this encounter with Nurse B, but it was so horrible that I have never forgotten it. She was rude to my mother, rude to me, and apparently had NO training at all. She spent hours looking for a vein in my arm and when she finally found one she JABBED the needle in there like I was some sort of super human child who felt no pain. [Side note: I have always thought they should hire drug users to find the vein in your arm. I mean, those people are PROS at it.] I cried (on the inside), she was even meaner, mother was FURIOUS and we left in terrible spirits with mother vowing she would never go back there again. The good part of this story is I was then taken to the mall and I got to pick a little toy out of the store for being good. And then, it happened. I remember it like it was yesterday. We got a phone call from Nurse B. Apparently she DROPPED my vile of blood on the floor in the lab and needed me to come back in for another sample. My mother pleasantly (I’m sure) replied that they could shove it up their you-know-whats; her child would not be coming back for another sample EVER.
So what do these fascinating stories have to do with anything? It seems as though my body knows that I dislike the doctor and loath the dentist, and so my dear body has decided to make it a personal mission to make me go back to the doctor and the dentist at least five (million) times a year. I finally found a dentist I liked in Florida, but now that I have moved I have to go through the process again. However, I had to go to the doctor today and luckily found the nicest woman in the world who actually LISTENED to me! Who knew doctors did that anymore?
See, that is another reason I dislike the doctor. I go and say I am having severe abdominal pains, back pains, headaches, and so on, and he does a three minute check, prescribes me pills for a UTI and sends me on my way. This doctor today actually WROTE DOWN everything I said, asked me in-depth questions no doctor before has asked me, gave me reading material about problems I may have, and ordered blood work. From a lab. This completely shocked me. A doctor wanted me to get better! I still can not believe it.
Turns out I diagnosed myself a while ago (thanks to the wonders of WebMD) and the blood work should hopefully confirm these theories. I could supposedly have one or two things: Endometriosis or Polysystic Ovary Syndrome, as well as an enlarged thyroid. None of these sound like fun things to have, but according to the doctor there are treatments which is really AWESOME as both of these could eventually cause infertility, and the thought of infertility is one of the most depressing things ever.
I really encourage all the woman who may be reading to check out WebMD if you are experiencing any pains or problems and you are unsure of what they are. It is really good to regularly have OBGYN visits to catch anything at an early stage becuase with the advancement of modern medicine, treatments are growing.
Now if you will excuse me, I must go fast so I can go back tomorrow and get jabbed by needles and have my precious blood taken away from me. Let’s just hope Nurse Bitch doesn’t show up.
Oh Internet, how I have missed you. I dropped my poor little computer off at the Apple store on Tuesday to have my cd-drive thing fixed, meaning I have been without a computer since then. I mean, my dear mother allowed me to use her computer whenever I need to, and my brother is out of town so I am stealing his for right now, but it is just not the same, you know? I find that whenever I am using other people’s computers I spend a total of ten or so minutes on it and then I am done, whereas when I am on my own computer I spend hours at least thirty or so minutes doing nothing really. I don’t spend countless hours on facebook (I personally don’t see how anyone can spend over five consecutive minutes on facebook… I get so bored with it so easily!) Instead, I get sucked into the black hole that is youtube.
Yes, I am a youtube junkie. And it isn’t just the people I am subscribed to (Vlogbrothers, Five Awesome Girls, and What the Buck, to name a few). It is clips from shows or movies or, you know, those really lame shipper videos where people take clips of this guy and that girl and put them to cheesy and/or popular music because they should TOTALLY be together, or they really did love each other, or she should be with him, aka the one that got away! For example, Pam and Jim from The Office (pre-season three) or Derek and Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy (that is a popular one), etc. Those videos are really addictive. Then there are links to more clips and your favorite moments from shows like Scrubs, Psych, Friends and of course America’s Next Top Model, because who DOESN’T enjoy watching this clip every five minutes?
Then after I finish watching them I come over here and take up your time posting AWESOME videos in this very blog. AWESOME videos that you should be watching. Take for example the following clip from Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, a hilariously interesting (to say the least) movie you should see. I feel as though this little clip, which happens to be one of the most brilliant love songs ever written, allows you to get a glimpse inside my Shakespeare-loving heart.
See how awesome that video was? Behold, the power of youtube.
So just remember kids- the next time you are bored and don’t want to spend countless hours doing homeowork or any kind of work for that matter, just take a trip to youtube land and get lost in the utter uselessness of it all. Your life will never be the same again. I promise.
Here are a few pictures from my recent trip to NYC! They were taken in Bryant Park, Sardi’s, Times Square, and Radio City Music Hall.
A carousel in Bryant Park
Old school desks that were scattered all over the park
A really yummy sandwich shop in the middle of the park
Lunch at Sardi’s!
A restaurant known for it’s famous Broadway clientele. The walls are covered with the famous charactatures of B’way actors and actresses. I found Norbert!
I love all the colors in Times Square
Radio City Music Hall, home to the Tony’s
Announcing the Tony’s
A reading area in the middle of the park
I don’t know what building this is, but I loved it
The fountain before the rain…
…The fountain after the rain
For the past two years there has been a problem with my left eye. You know- pain, burning, bloodshot, all that good stuff. Whenever I went to the doctors all they would say is, “You have bad vision, here is your new contact prescription, and here are some eye drops for your allergy problems.” And when I would go back and they would say the same thing over again. Then last weekend my eye was hurting so badly that it kept me up almost all night with a horrible headache, nausea, and dizziness. Today I went to a different eye doctor who actually seemed to know what she was doing, and she did all of this extra stuff and looked all in my eye, and apparently I have been suffering from ULCERS in my EYE. For a week I have to wear my glasses and use eye drops (an antibiotic, not those crap allergy ones I was given before) then go back and get a different brand of contacts. Supposedly the brand I have been using don’t let enough oxygen into my eye, resulting in ulcers. I am just really, really happy there is no need for surgery or needles to be poked in my eye. Internet, to sum things up let me offer you this piece of advice: DON’T GET ULCERS IN YOUR EYE. I know you think it will just make you as bad-ass as me, but just trust me on this one. Ulcers are NOT your friends.
Also, in other less disturbing news, I posted the latest three movies from the movie trade off on my link in the Bullshish network. You can read the first part here if you don’t know what I am talking about, and you can read the latest post here.
Next, my mother and I have become addicted to the show Veronica Mars, and it is all this guys fault. If you have never seen this show, I strongly suggest you watch it. I’ll be posting a full review sometime in the future. (Where have you heard that lie before, right? BUT I SO PROMISE I WILL.)
A couple of weeks ago my baby brother graduated from high school! He is all grown up now. Okay, maybe not, but it was still loads of fun. All of the family came in and even though they only stayed for a couple of days, it was nice to see everyone. It felt like Christmas in June. Later on in the week my sister, mother, grandmother, and I went to NYC for the day. I am totally in love with Bryant park. It is so beautiful and FUN. As soon as I get a few computer problems out of the way I hope to have pictures up.
WHAT ELSE? The book club is going along nicely. Well, sort of. I am a little behind, but fear not! I have not forgotten about it, nor have I abandoned ship half way through. I just seemed to have abandoned blogging about it. One day I will be all caught up. I just had finals and papers and excuses, excuses. In case I never told you (I can’t be bothered to go look up if I did or didn’t, so lets assume I did not, okay?) I PASSED my LINGUISTICS class! I am so seriously giddy it is insane. I HAD to pass that class with a C or better if I didn’t want to retake it. Can you believe that? I have absolutely NO idea how that happened though. Let me take you back to the final exam.
I’m sitting there, in my normal seat (Side note: who else has to sit in the same seat, especially for exams? It really, really, really throws me off if I can’t sit in the same seat for class). Anyway, I am sitting there, looking over my notes one last time, and suddenly it is time to take the wretched thing. So I get it, look down, complete the first page well enough, turn the page and FREEZE. A string of explicatives run through my head as I continue to flip the pages. Occasionally here and there I recognize something I can do, but for the most part my mind went blank. I make it a point to never leave problems blank because you never know which professor will take pity on you and give you points. My linguistics professor is a really, really nice guy and my T.A. was so sweet and understanding when I asked the REALLY dumb questions. So I figured that it couldn’t hurt for me to make sure everything was answered. As soon as I turned in the exam, I walked out and almost started to cry. I was SURE I failed the thing. When you have THREE pages that you guessed the answers to (and when I say “guess” I mean completely blind guesses) you have to fail. HAVE to fail. Apparently not.
Other than that one, my exams went well. I am so happy they are over and done with. Now I can rest this summer before going back to what is going to probably be the most stressful semester of my college career. Good times!
Well, I can no longer think of topics that will be of any interest to you. Sorry about my absence Internet. I will never fail you again.
