I love you. I honestly love you.

Oh hey Internet. Fancy meeting you here. As you know, I have spent the past month gallivanting around New Zealand, petting sheep, looking at penguins, walking A LOT, Zorbing, and doing so much fun stuff I can’t even talk about it. I’m still working on finishing the New Zealand website I set up; internet was a bit dodgy in the NZ so I wasn’t able to update as much as I would have liked. Although, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t miss the internet. Even when I had it at my disposal I never really wanted to be on it. I didn’t really miss anything about America, or my regular life. I hardly used my phone!

New Zealand was the most fun I’ve ever had. I mean it; I had NO desire to come home. None at all. And now that I am home, all I want to do is go back. I don’t care about school, I don’t care about anything here really, I just want to go back with my friends and keep doing all the fun things NZ offers. I don’t want to bore you with the constant complaining and whatnot, so forgive me if posts are a bit light this week. I’m starting a new semester (BLAH) and jet lag is killllling me. But I just wanted to let you know that I am ALIVE and I will be back to my regular scheduled posting soon.

Mission Accomplished. Thank You, and Good Night.

So at the beginning of this year (it is still 2009 while I’m writing this), I was all “I’M TOTALLY GOING TO READ 50 BOOKS IN ONE YEAR!” And I was doing it—reading books, turning them out LIKE A MACHINE. But then… the machine started to slow. And then it just quit working. And I had to change a few of the rules. You see, I bet you thought I stopped doing this. I thought I stopped as well. Which is why I changed some rules around a bit. So let’s take a moment to review these “official rules”:

Rule #1: I can not include the Twilight series because I just read them three times in a row. I need to stretch out a bit.

I made this rule last as long as I could. But then I caved. There is something about those books, as flawed as they are, that just pulled me in. I caved. I needed books and they are an easy read.

Rule #2: I can not include any school assigned book. This means any book I am assigned while in college. I can however, go back and read some books assigned in high school. Which I plan to do.

Yeah, totally broke this rule when I realized there was NO POSSIBLE way I could get 50 books in there with no school assigned readings. I mean, maybe 30 at the most. Whatever.

Rule #3: (I’m regretting this rule already) but I can not read Hamlet. I have read that so many times and I am actually going to be reading it in my Shakespeare class this semester, so I shouldn’t really count it even though it is my favorite Shakespeare play. I want to try and read those I haven’t before.

Well I broke rule #2, and one of the assigned books was Hamlet. I can’t help it. That is like dangling some heroin in front of an addict and being all “oh, no, just *look* at it. You can’t have any. Sorry.” Totally mean and uncalled for.

So basically, I threw out all the official rules and decided to read 50 books (or plays) of any nature. The time is now 11:52 and I finished my 50th book not ten minutes ago. That is just how I roll Internet. So, without further ado, here are my 50 books, in no particular order, with a few notes about each one. I’d like to say a big thank you to myself for actually completing this, and a big thank you to all of my relatives who pestered me every day to read.

1. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson

I loved this book. Maureen is a genius and has cleverly set everything up for a sequel, which will debut sometime in 2011 (I believe).

2. The Burmudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson

Not at all what I expected, but a delightful read. (I totally sounded like a snobby book reviewer there.) Can’t decide if I liked the ending, or totally hated it.

3. Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson

For some reason I thought the plot of this book was something completely different. I really liked this book though, and I suggest reading this before Burmudez Triangle.

4. Let It Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green, and Lauren Myracle

Three different authors tell sort of kind of the same general story from three different character’s perspectives. Basically, this book is awesome.

5. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

This book is so fun. Definitely the funniest of John Green’s books; the footnotes are pretty much what makes this book. I love it.

6. Paper Towns by John Green

I love Margo and I hate Margo. I will never be able to decide which, although I lean more towards I hate Margo. Read it and let me know what you think.

7. Looking for Alaska by John Green

My favorite book by John Green and, no exaggeration, one of my favorite books in general. **Possible spoiler alert- this is not a happy ending book.

8. George’s Marvelous Medicine by Ronald Dahl

This was my favorite book as a kid; I love everything about it and would read it a million times.

9. Broken Glass by Arther Miller

A BRILLIANT play. I adored it, and would love to see it performed!

10. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

David Sedaris is my hero.

11. Naked by David Sedaris

Seriously, there is nothing he can write that I would hate.

12. Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

You should read David Sedaris’ books.

13. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

This is definitely a “first book”—meaning her books get progressively better as the go on. Not my favorite of the series by far, but not my least favorite.

14. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

I adore, simply ADORE Professor Flockheart.

15. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

Very nicely done J.K. You are the master of entertainment.

16. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

The book was about nine-hundred-millin-zillion-bajillion times better than the movie. I cannot stress this enough.

17. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

Good book. Sad, and I hate Umbridge, but I suppose that is the point.

18. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

Hands down, favorite book of the series.

19. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

So sad to see everything come to an end. Epilogue SUCKED.

20. Twilight by Stephanie Myers

Good book; very captivating. I couldn’t put it down.

21. Eclipse by Stephanie Myers

You’re probably wondering, so I’ll just tell you. I don’t read Breaking Dawn. I sobbed the entire time I read it the first time through, so I don’t read it. Eclipse is good.

22. New Moon by Stephanie Myers

I mean, if you don’t focus on the fact that there is absolutely NO WAY ON EARTH Bella could get pregnant, then it is a good book.

23. The Victim by Saul Bellow

Good book, but a bit dry at times, but I didn’t hate it.

24. The Fixer by Bernard Malamud

Good grief I thought this book would never end. I want those five years of my life back.

25. The Chosen by Chiam Patok

Simply fantastic. Everyone should read this.

26. The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

Oh my goodness if this wasn’t one of the saddest books I read this year. The movie followed it almost exactly. Very good adaptation.

27. Goodbye Columbus by Philip Roth

Phillip Roth became one of my new favorite old authors after reading this. I LOVED Goodbye Columbus and hope to read more of his books.

28. Lovingkindness by Anne Rophie

A good book; very entertaining and interesting.

29. Survival in Auschwitz by Primo Levi

Good book, but a bit dry and boring in places.

30. America and I by Anzia Yezierska

Fantastic short stories by women moving to America. Loved it!

31. Maus Volume I: My Father Bleeds History by Art Spiegelman

I didn’t care for the characters of the story, but the story was really good. If that makes sense.

32. Maus Volume II: And Here My Troubles Began by Art Spiegelman

It is mainly told in flashback, so I didn’t like the “current” characters. I liked the flashback characters. They changed over time.

33. Documents of the Holcost by Edited by Yitzhak Arad, Yisrael Gutman,
and Abraham Margaliot

An all around fascinating book; more of a “text book” than a novel, obviously, but this was a very interesting read.

34. The Racial State: Germany 1933-1945 by Michael Burleigh and Wolfgange Wippermann

I read this book for class, but I’m including it on the list because I read every, single, stinking page. Very, very dry. But quite a few of the chapters were interesting enough to keep me reading.

35. Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen

Fantastic book. Very different from the movie. I liked them both in different ways. Overall the book was just fantastic.

36. Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote

Very different from the movie. Ending was abrupt, but overall I liked it well enough. Definitely want to read more of Capote’s works.

37. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Duh. This is my favorite Shakespeare play and I just adore Hamlet. Even if he is one of the most emo characters ever written.

38. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight by Anonymous

Actually, this was a very, very interesting story.

39. The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

I read the majority of the Canterbury Tales. I thought they were good, but I don’t know why my professor is so OBSESSED with Chaucer.

40. Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe

Feel free to never read this. Boring and slow and dry and I wasn’t a fan. Although, this IS where we get the famous, “Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?” Which was quite funny.

41. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Great! I love, love, loved it. Different set up than the psychedelic Disney version, and they left out some interesting things.

42. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Yes, I am counting this because I’d never read it before.

43. The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty

I cannot tell you how unbelievably good this book was. I read it in four hours. FOUR HOURS. Just… go read it.

44. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

You either love this book or hate it. (Or so I’ve been told.) I loved it and recommend it to everyone.

45. Speak by Laurie Halse Aderson

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic book. I loved it!

46. The Bro Code by Barney Stinson

Technically, according to Bro Code Article 4, I shouldn’t even know about this book. By my mother bought it for me for Christmas and if you know me you know how much I love How I Met Your Mother and, more importantly, Barney Stinson. So it just makes sense.

47. Spring Awakening by Steven Sater and Duncan Sheik

My mother wouldn’t take me to see this controversial musical, so the book version of the play is as close as I’m going to get. I LOVE Duncan Sheik and his music has truly made this play so much better.

48. My Teacher Ate My Homework by Dan Greenburg

This was actually a really, really good book! Meant for little kids, it was funny, sarcastic, entertaining, and most important—interesting. I wish someone would adapt it into a young adult book.

49. Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

A classic. I read this while on one of my many doctor visits.

50. Leaping Beauty by Gregory Maguire

This is the man responsible for WICKED. He is amazing. I definitely suggest this book to any and everyone. It was fun to read about fairytales all mixed and changed up. As the stories went on they got funnier and funnier. Definitely will be reading this one again!

Only a passing thing.

For one of the classes I’m taking in New Zealand (yes, I’m actually studying not just gallivanting around) I am required to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I watched the second of the movies tonight, The Two Towers, and while it is my least favorite (I find it dreadfully boring) it does contain my favorite moment from the trilogy– Sam’s “motivational” speech to Frodo. I think this is one of the most beautiful speeches in any movie I’ve ever seen.

I’m leaving for my trip in just TWO DAYS. I’m really excited and really, really nervous. (I’m not the biggest fan of flying. I mean, once I’m up in the air I’m fine. It is the taking off and the landing that terrifies me. Oh, and terrorists.) I know I’m going to have the time of my life, and hopefully meet some amazing people, which means I will be terribly busy. So starting January 1st I will be taking a little hiatus from Improbablefiction. I do plan on blogging, but this will be for uploading pictures, and video, and journals and whatnot. I’ve created a whole website for this trip which you can find by clicking on any one of these highlighted words. Expect my full report on the book club challenge. I’m three books away from my goal! Tune in to see if I’ve completed my mission.

Book Club Book #42: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Okay, okay. I haven’t mentioned the book club challenge in A WHILE. But I finished a book today that I really wanted to share with you guys. An official blog is coming soon, filled with broken rules and a list of the books I’ve read. But for now…. I will talk about this amazing book.

Book: Speak

Author: Laurie Halse Anderson

Number of Pages: 198

Okay, synopsis from the back of the book:

Melinda Sordino busted and end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so her old friends won’t talk to her, and people she doesn’t know hate her from a distance. It’s no use explaining to her parents; they’ve never known what her life is really like. The safest place for Melinda to be is alone, inside her own head. But even that’s not safe. Because there’s something she’s trying not to think about, something about the night of the party that, if she admitted it and let it in, would blow her carefully constructed disguise to smithereens. And then she would have no choice. Melinda would have to speak the truth.

I want to start this post off with a disclaimer. It doesn’t matter how old you are; there are amazing– simply AMAZING books in the young adult section of the book store. I am 21 and I can not tell you how many great books I find perusing the shelves in the young adult lit section. Don’t let the concept of Twilight (or even Harry Potter) freak you out. Not all books revolve around love, or men with sparkly chests, or wizards. I’m telling you that you need to read this book, and the only place to find it is in the young adult section.

Moving on.

This book is told from the perspective of Melinda Sordino. You don’t actually find out the cause of her sudden “muteness” until a nice ways into the book. But that is a good thing; the tension builds, you don’t know who did what or why everyone hates Mel. Now, having read my share of books, I pretty much figured out what happened at the party (hint/possible spoiler: think of what happened to Veronica at the party in Veronica Mars.) The way Laurie Halse Anderson paints the details of the book, the smallest, tiniest details that you don’t think are significant but really are, is brilliant. I will definitely be reading this book a second time next year, but I’m surprised at how much I picked up on the first time around. (That is what happens when you’ve read 41 books over the course of a year. You pick up on things.) The main character says, roughly, 20-25 lines in the entire book, and you would think that hinders the story telling. Except it enriches it that much more. You are in Melinda’s head; you know what she is thinking, what she really wants to say, but her character has, quite literally, lost her voice. She can’t talk; she tries and nothing comes out. This thing, this event that happened to her, has turned her into a mute and she spends a portion of the book wondering if she is crazy and insane, or just a freak.

I connected with this book more than I thought I would. Not that what happened to Melinda happened to me, but the things she thinks- they are so real. Often an adult writer will compose a high school character and often the dialogue and thoughts of that character aren’t exactly what teenagers are thinking. But at some point or another I’ve felt A LOT of what Melinda feels, but I just couldn’t tell anyone. So it felt as though I was going through this with her. And that is one of my absolute favorite things about books. To be able to experience the story first hand; to imagine you are there and you know what this character is going through. It is just wonderful.

The story itself was a hauntingly beautiful and melancholy tale. I managed not to cry once…but then I got to the last paragraph and I teared up. Then I got to the last line, and before I closed the book I was crying. I don’t want to really explain why it made me cry, for fear of ruining the ending. Just know that it is a beautiful tale of a beautiful girl who has experienced a horrible tragedy and has to live with it in silence.

I really, really recommend this book to girls, guys, adults, and teens and everyone.

This is what happens when I don’t get my Netflix movies in time. (Also, I’m delirious from studying.)

Ode to my mailbox

By Lauren of room 213

Oh mailbox you are so small,

Yet so full of great opportunities.

But why must you remain empty?

Every day I come to see you

With joy in my heart

And a smile on my face.

But there you sit, staring at me.

As I turn the key,

I open the door

To see what letters are waiting—

But I just stare at your

Cold

Empty

Shallow

Gray walls.

You perplex me, mailbox.

You offer such lovely notes

But only at your convenience.

Why must you torture me mailbox?

Why must you force me to trudge,

Trudge back to my room with a heavy heart

Empty-handed and alone.

I hate you mailbox!

I hate you with the burning fire of a thousand suns,

And yet…

And yet, I love you Mailbox.

I love the joy you bring me with one sweet note.

I love the feeling of hope you bring me,

The way your walls light up with every stamp and return label.

The precious moments go by

The ticking of the clock—a loud reminder of the seconds

I’ve wasted away

From you.

So please mailbox,

Please bring cheer to my life.

Adventures in England

A few days ago I was searching through my back up drive, getting together all of my education papers and whatnot to prepare for my impending doom, aka, my junior portfolio. You know, the one that if it isn’t perfect you can’t student teach, ergo I just wasted four and a half years of my life… yeah, that one.

So I came across this little video and realized I never posted it. So for anyone who wanted to know what my study abroad in England was like, here it is, all neatly wrapped up in ten precious minutes. I do most of the filming because I HATE and LOATH to be on camera. But I hope you enjoy it nontheless.

more about “Adventures in England“, posted with vodpod

and then I lol’d.

Woah. Just let me be the first to say…. it’s been a while, huh? I know, I know. As dear old Professor Slughorn would say, “these are mad times we live in! Mad!”

Oh, yes, I did just quote Harry Potter. Ever heard of it? No? It’s just a little indie film I think is really going to make it into the big time. Soon! Speaking of Harry Potter, I’ve been wondering, doing a little pondering here and there, and I’ve come up with a question. What would Amortentia smell like to you? Don’t have a clue as to what I am talking about? GO WATCH HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE. Seriously though, it is the strongest love potion ever made and the smell changes according to the person doing the smelling. Basically it serves as your own little personal aphrodisiac. FUN RIGHT?

Me, personally…I’m still thinking of my answer. Sure, there are lots of things I like, but I think it would be a really weird mixture of things. Not that freshly cut grass and spearmint are normally grouped together…

Also, these are mad times because I’ve been all busy busy with school. I KNOW! Excuses! But I’ve finished completely with two classes, and the third will be finished just as soon as I submit my paper. That I need to edit. Which I should be doing right now, but instead I’m blogging and that just proves my DEDICATION to you, dear internet.

Also, have you asked me a question on formspring yet? No? DO IT!

And now for story power hour. In my British lit class my professor didn’t really have anything for us to do, so we were forced to play a rousing game of Jeopardy: BRIT LIT EDITION. Not my cup of tea, but I don’t think I’ll forget this game. Ever. So this kid in my class, Alex, came to class and sat by me. Completely intoxicated from the previous night’s partying. I know, I know– totally awesome. He verbally abused the other teams as well as the score keeper (although she was a bit HORRIBLE). Probably the best class of the semester.

Also, you would not believe how many times a day I get called weird! It is uncanny. People should be a bit more careful with throwing it around; it is starting to lose its meaning! I swear this blog has a point. Maybe. Right, weird. I’m not ashamed to be weird; if being cultured and interesting and asking for French films for Christmas instead of Twilight crap, then go ahead! Call me weird! I don’t care! Hmm… I don’t know how I got to this topic. Oh! This blog post is very weird, I know. I have a thousand thoughts running around in my noggin, the majority of which are coming out in thesis statements, or educational terms and French vocabulary. Can you tell it is finals week?

I can’t wait to go home. I should also state that it is officially 20 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR NEW ZEALAND! I can’t even believe it has crept up on me so quickly! I have so much to do! Aak!

But for now, I’m going to go. I’m way to hyper to sit around at my desk and blog! Not that I don’t love these little meetings we have. OH! I almost forgot my NEWS! I’ve decided next year I may dabble into a little bit of vlogging. No, I won’t leave you, my wonderful little blogging world. But I don’t know; I think it may be fun?! Maybe? No? We shall see. Okay, really leaving now.

You stay classy Internet!

Because I’m Not On Enough Social Networks.

So the latest social network is Formspring. You ask me a question, about anything, and I answer it. SOUNDS LIKE FUN RIGHT?!?!?! Right. Now the only problem is, the majority of people I know (minus a handful or so) don’t venture past facebook and e-mail. So it is up to YOU, dear Internet to ask me questions, and if you so choose, they are completely anonymous. And like I said, they can be questions about anything! However, Maureen Johnson says it best:

Q. When it says, ask me anything, do you mean ANYTHING?

A. Well, sure. You can ASK me anything. I may not ANSWER, but there is no harm in ASKING.

So GO! Ask away!

Giving Thanks

Over my Thanksgiving break I was in South Carolina, and had no Internet. That is why I have been absent my darling followers! Anyway, even though it is way late, I am still going to make a thankful list. As you write your Christmas lists and get ready for the holiday, I think it is important to remember what you said you were thankful for not even a week ago. So, in no particular order, here is what I’m thankful for:

My mom and dad (in balloon form… he couldn’t make it to Thanksgiving) who let me do crazy things like live in England and travel to France and New Zealand:

My crazy family because they make life interesting:

My brother because he is one of my best friends:

My sister because she is so funny:

My grandparents because they are so amazingly awesome it is unreal:

Making silly faces:

Christmas lights in my dorm room:

Fall festivals:

The beautiful nature that surrounds me:

The wonderful opportunities I have had traveling:

And my AMAZING camera that let me take so many beautiful picture of my beautiful family:

I thankful for so, so, so much more than what is listed above, but these are what I am especially thankful for at this moment in time. I hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving!

A Conversation of Awkwardness.

I’m currently in the process of two (yes, that’s right! TWO!) Thanksgiving posts, but for now I just HAD to share the conversation I had with the evil French Professor today. I’ve gone ahead and translated it for you, because it is even more ridiculous in English.

Evil French Professor: “Lauren, what famous basketball player, or baseball player, or hockey player do you like?”

Me: “I don’t like sports.”

Evil French Professor: “YOU DON’T LIKE SPORTS???!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?”

Me: “No, not really.”

Evil French Professor: “Well what famous player do you like?”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know. I don’t watch sports.”

Evil French Professor: “YOU DON’T WATCH SPORTS? AT ALL????!?!?!?!?!?”

Me: “I played volleyball in high school, but that is about it.”

Evil French Professor: “What famous person do you like?”

Me: *silence* “Uhhh… Julia Roberts?”

Evil French Professor: *silence*

Me: “Are you asking me what famous person I like?”

Evil French Professor: “Yes, what famous sports person do you like?”

Me: *turns to friend* “Quick, what is a famous sports person?” (My mind was completely blanking at this point.)

Friend: *laughs* “I don’t know! I hate sports too!!”

Me: “Uh…. I don’t know!” *Starts speaking English* “I DON’T LIKE SPORTS!”

Evil French Professor: “Oooookkkkaaaaayyyy……”

*turns to my friend*

Evil French Professor: “What famous basketball player, or baseball player, or hockey player do you like?”

My friend: “I don’t like sports.”

Evil French Professor: “YOU DON’T LIKE SPORTS???!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?”

Internet, I have eight more days with this douche-bag (sorry mother, but he is). Then I AM FREEEEEEE!!!!!