About two weeks ago I went into the doctors for a sleep study. This sleep study consisted of being hooked up to MANY wires on my legs, arms, face, head, neck, shoulders, etc. Then I had to sleep in a bed while people watched me and monitored my breathing. The point of this study was to find out if I have sleep apnea, a tiny little condition where you stop breathing in your sleep. Last night I had to go back for a second study because guess what! I have sleep apnea! And they wanted to see how things would go if I slept with one of those masks that covers your nose and mouth and makes you feel like Darth Vader. Once the nurse left the room I couldn’t stop giggling at how ridiculous I looked, a giant mask covering half of my face and wires everywhere. Even if I did take a picture I don’t think I would ever post it, no not ever THAT is how crazy I looked.
While the nurse was getting everything ready she was telling me that through the last sleep study I stopped breathing six times per hour during a normal nights sleep. However, when I hit my REM cycle I stop breathing FIFTEEN TIMES PER HOUR. I know, holy frick. I guess it worked because I am getting a special, CUSTOM MADE sleeping mask. Designed specifically for me. If it wasn’t so incredibly so embarrassing looking I would probably be excited. And I guess I have to use this thing for the rest of my life? They weren’t really into specifics or anything; they were just interested in hooking me up to more wires.
Now, have you ever tried to fall asleep while hooked up to wires, breathing out of a face mask, KNOWING there is someone watching you sleep through a security camera type thing? It isn’t that easy. You think to yourself, “Boy! I sure am tired! Falling asleep won’t be any trouble for me.” But then you get there and get all set up and then you have to lay there in the dark with only your stuffed animal to keep you company while someone speaks to you over an intercom telling you to look up and down, left and right, move your feet, hold your breath, so they can make sure that everything is working, and you are suddenly WIDE AWAKE. The first time I did this the metal from the bed post were conflicting with the wires and they weren’t getting any signals in the lab and they didn’t know what was wrong. So the lady’s voice came booming over the intercom and was all, “I’m sorry Lauren we are having EXTREME technical difficulties.” And then five minutes later they figured out that it was the metal from the headboard. Last night went considerably better and I was in bed by 11pm. And I find that interesting because for the past week both my roommate and I have been going to bed by 11pm (midnight if we have homework) because we get up at 7:30. And we need our sleep. So I was pretty happy to keep on schedule last night, and yes I realize this makes me a complete dork.
I was awoken this morning at 5am, well that is when they came in and took the wires off. I fell asleep at 11, woke up at 1am, felt like ripping the mask off, fell back asleep, woke back up at 4am and couldn’t fall back asleep. So I just lay in bed wondering when I would be able to get up. Finally I was able to and I got back to my mom’s house (much closer than the dorms) and I was unable to go back to sleep.
So I have been awake since 4am and because the majority of you have never met me, you have no idea what I am like when I get no sleep. I am crazy. I laugh at everything. Everything anybody says reminds me of a lyric in a Broadway song and I feel the need to just belt it out. Already today I have covered Spamalot, Wicked, Hairspray, Spring Awakening, and loads of others I have forgotten.
Speaking of forgetting things, I totally forgot where I was going with this post. On that note, I think I will leave you all and go annoy my mother a little more.