I see dead people. Not really, but I do hear voices.

So last year I was all NEW YEARS RESOLUTION! FIFTY BOOKS READ IN ONE YEAR! YAY ME!

And then I was all….fifty books in one year? What did I get myself into? Boo me.

But today, I was sitting in my geography class, minding my own business, not understanding a single word my professor was uttering about silly wind patterns and cold fronts and warm fronts and all this complicated SCIENCE STUFF, when a familiar voice spoke to me.

“Lauren!” The voice said.

“What?” I said, clearly annoyed to be disrupted during my daydreaming.

“Remember that time you wanted to read fifty books in a year?”

“Yes.”

“And then you did it?!?”

“Mhhhm.”

“Didn’t you feel amaaazing?”

“Well it was quite the accomplishment.”

“Wouldn’t you like to feeeeel that way again?”

“Mmmm-” But I was cut off by a different voice.

“SHhhhhh! I need to learn about these wind patterns! They will be on the assignment due Tuesday!”

“But she has already tried to listen. She has a textbook that will tell her what she needs to know.”

Suddenly, I’ve turned into Gollum.

“Well, maybe I should listen…”

“YES!”

“NO!”

I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly a FOURTH character came into this little play. He goes by the name of I-should-have-gone-to-bed-earlier-because-now-I’m-really-really-sleepy-and-can’t-stay-awake.

I did not like him.

I.S.H.G.T.B.E.B.N.I.R.R.S.A.C.S.A. tried to lull me into sleep, but I would not allow it.Following the voice of character number one, I decided to make a list of all the books I’ve read so far this year. Then I was all “books read for class totally count.”

Totally count for what?

Oh no.

Oh yes. RIGHT THEN, riiiiiiiiight then I decided I was going to do this crazy 50 books in a year thing. NO TWILIGHT (no matter how desperate I get) and school books count. Those are the only two rules going into this. Books can be new, repeated, whatever. So if I had started this in January (like a sane person) I should be finishing my 24th book.

Here is a list of what I’ve read:

1. Harry Potter and the Sourcer’s Stone* by J.K. Rowling

2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

3. Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix

6. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**

8. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

9. Everything is Illuminated by Johnathan Safran Foer

10. Fight Club*** by Chuck Palahniuk

11. Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

12. Funny Boy by Shyam Selvadurai

13. Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga

14. The Autobiography of My Mother**** by Jamaica Kincaid

15. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

16. Translations by Brian Friel

17. Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green

18. The Freedom Writers Diary by The Freedom Writers

19. Nightlight***** by The Harvard Lampoon

20. It Cried and then It Sucked: How I had a baby, a breakdown, and a much needed margarita by Heather Armstrong

So I’m really close to being caught up. I know next week I will be starting The Watchman for class, so then I’ll be only five books behind (five, because we are entering the first month of July. The goal is to theoretically read a book a week.)! I’m really happy. I know I’m getting quite a few books for my birthday, so I plan on reading the entire works of Jane Austin by the summer’s end.

Now,  if you will excuse me, I’ve got plenty of books to read and voices in my head to which I must listen. Good morrow!

——————-

*All Harry Potter books are by J.K. Rowling. I didn’t want to type it seven times.

**I started this book about 30 minutes ago, but I put it on the list because who wants to see only six Harry Potter books listed? Gross.

***I’m halfway through this book, so I listed it.

****This is a terrible book, avoid it at all costs.

*****This is a WONDERFUL book, read it NOW.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “I see dead people. Not really, but I do hear voices.

  1. Genevieve

    O.K. Lets look back to January and see how insane you were to finish these books! Does this sound familiar??

    ” So basically, I threw out all the official rules and decided to read 50 books (or plays) of any nature. The time is now 11:52 and I finished my 50th book not ten minutes ago. ”

    You were dying!!! SO I think you should say you have to finish them by New Years Eve so you are not going crazy!!!!! (And you were going crazy)!
    Oh and if you happen to get eye surgery this is off the table!! I mean I am just saying!! 😉

  2. improbablefiction

    Are you saying if I get my eye surgery I can’t do this?!?! INSANITY.

    Also, yes, I do have to finish them by New Years Eve. But, I will be much more prepared to do this. I’ve got a stack of books lined up, and I plan on reading a LOT this summer! Yay me!

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