[Insert Title of Your Choice Here]

Internet if there is one thing I hate, it is the sound of chewing. And I’m not just talking about chewing with your mouth open (which is completely disgusting) but I mean any kind of chewing. If I can hear it, I hate it. And yes, that includes my own chewing, which I realize may sound crazy but in case you haven’t ever read my blog before, I should probably point out now that I AM CRAZY.

Anywho, let me give you the setting of last night. Around some time late in the evening half a bottle of water spilled on my bed, resulting in me laying out my comforter to dry and changing the sheets because basically half of my bed was soaked. So I’m studying for exams, changing my sheets, listening to my darling roommate say “you wet the bed” “you wet the bed” OVER AND OVER again… I mean once is cute, two is annoying and any more than that calls for me to hit you. (I get violent around exam time btw.) So I finally decide that I can no longer study for my two exams because if I didn’t know the stuff at 1 in the morning, I wasn’t going to magically learn it all by the time of the test.

Well my roommate was working on this project that she has put off. It was due at 8 in the morning. She started it around 11pm. That was not a good idea. She has to have her lamp on (even though the entire project is on the computer, involving no papers or research that had to be done offline) which means the entire room was really bright because her lamp has such brightness that it puts the SUN to shame. So there I am, under a sheet, FREEZING because I don’t have a comforter, BLIND because I looked directly at the lamp on accident, and STRESSED about my exams. And then I hear it. She opens up something (I have no idea what) and starts to eat something. Which means I can hear her chewing LOUDLY, because her desk is VERY CLOSE to my bed. GOD alone knows what she was eating, but darn it all I wanted to slit my wrists. Then, suddenly, the chewing stops. It was such a relief. And then….. oh GOD! NO! SHE OPENS ANOTHER SNACK! AND THEN EATS IT!

I honestly don’t know how I survived the night.

And don’t you just love my new banner? It was created by THIS GUY.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “[Insert Title of Your Choice Here]

  1. Genevieve

    OH MY GOSH!!! Let me be the first to say…. We all know you hate chewing noise!!! No one better than me! O.K. I will admit I have a habit of popping my gum but when you are around I don’t even try to chew gum. BUT..If I do and 1 little noise comes out your WHOLE body tenses!!! That makes me want to SCREAM!!!!!! Then I look at you and you say… I didn’t say anything!!! I mean helloooooo.. you didn’t have to!!!

    Oh and CALEB….. I actually love the banner! The M is very creative!!

  2. improbablefiction

    Well at least you now know that it is not just you. It is any chewing noise anywhere, ever. I can’t help it mother.

    You must love me in spite of my faults.

  3. Genevieve

    Oh trust me I do!! And Vice Versa!

  4. You know what eats shockingly quietly?

    Chili-cheese dogs.

    Also, gum sort of grosses me out, just in general. The entire concept of it is completely unappealing to me. Regardless of who’s doing it, all I can think of is a cow chewing on its cud.

    And hooray for the banner!

  5. improbablefiction

    I seriously doubt that about the chili-cheese dog. But, alas, we shall never know because I will NEVER eat one EVER.

    Also, your face sort of grosses me out, just in general.

    HA.

  6. You WISH my face grossed you out.

  7. improbablefiction

    Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night CAL.

  8. Took 11 hours to come up with that one, did it?

  9. Oh, and for the record I had something WAY better, but I can’t bring myself to post it given some of the people that read this.

  10. Awesome banner. Great work Caleb.

    Chewing sounds don’t usually bother me, but sometimes I’ll walk into the kitchen when my mom is eating peanut butter. She makes the loudest smacking sounds and it drives me nuts.

  11. improbablefiction

    I had a teacher in the 5th grade… let us call her SATAN. She would give us busy work and then walk around the room silently judging us. While she did this, she would be eating peanut butter straight out of the jar.

    It was disgusting and I can no longer look at peanut butter the same way again.

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