Cal: “you only have three hours left!”
Me: “I don’t have anything to sayyyyyyyyy”
Cal: “YOU ONLY HAVE THREE HOURS LEFT”
Me: “Yes, yes I know! BUT I HAS NOTHING TO WRITE!”
Cal: “Hold on. I have a book for this. It’s just a book called if.”
1. If you could spend the whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently still alive, who would you select? (I don’t think that necessarily has to be sexual.)
[Mother, father, avert your eyes.] I think if this *was* a sexual thing, my answer would totally be MATT DAMON, no question about it. Now if this is not a sexual thing, I would probably go with Heather Armstrong, creator of my favorite blog Dooce. I think talking with her for one night would be the most entertaining and informative point of my life, and I would probably never be the same afterward.
(**Update: Because I have had two people mention this, I will mention why I didn’t answer this with John Green. I don’t think I could talk to John for an entire night because I would be too nervous to say anything even remotely comprehensible. Heather I could just girl chat easily and not have to worry about making sense.)
2. If you had to choose the worst book ever written, what would it be?
I didn’t even have to wait until the end of that sentence to think of an answer. As soon as I saw “worst book” I immediately knew my answer was The Red Pony by John Steinbeck. In fact, I am just going to go ahead and say any book written by Steinback.
I once chose to read The Red Pony because it was on my reading list and it was short (I believe it was 4 chapters, or something close to that). HA! What an awful, awful, awful book. I would probably be able to tolerate it more if I read it now that I am much older, but I hated it so much I can’t seem to pick up a copy long enough to flip open the cover.
3. If you could have any single writer in history write your biography, who would it be?
4. If you had to choose the worst song ever composed, which one would you pick?
Every single rap song ever written. Does that count? Meh, I suppose you want just one song. I am going to have to go with…When All Is Said and Done. As an ABBA song I can sort of listen to it, but I am just bored to tears when it is playing during Mamma Mia (the show/movie). They could have cut it out.
5. If you could choose the very last thing you see before death, what would it be?
This is such an ambiguious question. Do you mean the last thing I would see- memory wise? Or do you mean an actual, phyisical thing? And how am I dying? Old age? Horrible car wreck?
If I’m dying of old age, I am choosing to physically see my kids, and those who I love the most. And my cat Clementine.
If I’m dying in a car wreck, I am choosing to see a memory of me and my family at Disney World because that is when I was happiest.
How would you answer? And Hamlet is doing great! He was rather social today.
Have a happy April everyone! See you tomorrow.