Sugar and spice and everything nice.

It is a well known fact around my house that I can bake. I can bake cakes, cookies, chocolate mousse, and other various desserts. I mean I can make regular food too, but I really excel at desserts. People line up around the entire neighborhood days in advance for my bake sales and there are cheers, cheers I tell you, for my works of edible art. The other night my sister said she wanted some cookies and tonight I finally made them. But I was tired of making the usual chocolate chip cookie, too much exposure I say, and I decided to make her sugar cookies. And people of this device I call the internet, I am here to share the secret of my success with a step by step picture guide to help even the most baking-impaired (cough*my sister*cough) feel like they are a culinary wizard.

First things first. What you need. Most importantly, and this is vital to the cookie making process, you will need an oven. Sadly when I was a youngster my friend and I wanted to make cookies but the oven was broke. But we were not to be defeated! So we put the cookie dough in the microwave (a stroke of genius at the time) and needless to say, they did not turn out. Go figure. Okay, this picture will show you everything you will need to make my awesome sugar cookies.

whatyouneed Two rolls (or one if that is your style) of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, a knife to open said cookie rolls, and baking sheets.  What you will want to do is open the dough, and if you like to follow directions, cut it into slices. But I am a rule breaker. A free- spirited culinary creator, if you will. So what you want to do is throw those directions out the window. Or maybe just into the trash. That would probably be better for our environment.

Go preheat your oven to 350 degrees and sprinkle some flour onto your counter spreading the dough out on the flour. This is so your dough does not stick on the counter. Oh yea, I forgot to mention you will need cookie cutters. I could only find the holiday themed ones but whatever you feel like using will be fine. These are your cookies, for goodness sake.

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Now that you have spread out the dough, put those cookie cutters to good use and cut out all sorts of fun shapes. Remember to have fun. Now is not the time for perfection. When you see how these cookies turned out you will realize we are definitely not aiming for perfection. We are aiming for fun. Once you have cut the cookies out, place them nicely on the cookie sheet you have already taken out. Now clean up your mess and get out the decorations. I used colored sugar, candies, crushed candies, sprinkles- really anything you want. The world is your oyster… or cookie in this case.

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Now get to decorating!! As you may be able to see from the picture above, I really know how to decorate (some may say like a five year old, but I disagree). Once all the cookies are decorated to your liking, you pop them into the oven (which should be preheated by now). Bake them for 11 minutes. No more, no less. They should turn out. Now, remember earlier when I said we were not aiming for perfection? Well now is when you need to keep that in mind. Because now 11 minutes have passed by and you are taking the cookies out of the oven and you are thinking, “my goodness, what have I done?” The answer- you have created little pieces of Heaven. Here are some of the best cookies I made. I should say by this point the Christmas trees now look like mushrooms, and my sister and I are in tears we are laughing so hard at them. But whatever. cimg4198

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Okay, so I think you get the awesomeness that is my cookie decorating skills. And I hope you set out and make it your life’s mission to make these awesome cookies. They may look completely odd, silly, and about the skill level of a five year old, but darn it all if these aren’t the best cookies in the world. Told you I have mad baking skillz.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Sugar and spice and everything nice.

  1. So what DOES happen when you microwave cookie dough?

  2. improbablefiction

    From what I can remember, nothing too drastic (we were a little sad). The dough got really hot and sort of runny and I don’t think anything happened to the sprinkles; they may have melted but I don’t really remember.

    A word of caution if you ever decide to do this for fun- don’t eat the dough. We did and were pretty sick for the rest of the day. Though now that I think about it, our sickness could result from the fact that we ate an entire thing of “raw” cookie dough and not so much from the fact that it was in the microwave.

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