When I was younger my brother and I sometimes got the rare privilege of going with my father to work on a sunny Saturday afternoon. While he stayed on the phone doing important things, my brother and I would wander around the empty cubicles looking at the various objects lying around on people’s desks. We would always hit the people we knew first. Then it was just about the randomness. And let me tell you, there are some really funny people in this world. And boy do they love their pets. After that we would get water out of the water cooler thing where we found it impossible to not get cup full after cup full of water. Because we were thirsty? No. Because we liked the cone shaped cups, and simply could not use the same one to get another cup of water. After we helped kill about 900 trees, my brother and I would make our way to the freezer. The gigantic freezer that stored all of those keep-frozen items, as freezers are intended to do. There we would partake in snowball fights which was great because 1. it was the middle of summer and 2. I love snow A LOT. Then we would always get spooked out because the boxes in the far far back corner of this gigantic freezer were always shaped in the form of a man holding an ax (I’m not even lying). So without fail we would get creeped out and run back to exploring weird desk items. Where it was safe.
But today I got to witness my father work from home in the form of a conference call. Now over the years, particularly on vacations in Florida, my father has had to deal with the occasional conference call. But he would always step into the other room where no one could really bother him. So today my father is on one of these conference calls. But things have changed internet, and now my father is the president of his division. Why did I tell you that? Because this apparantly changes the way things are done when it comes to conference calls. There I was in the kitchen making lunch for everyone and my father pulls out his cell phone and switches it to speaker. Then other people -strangers whose voices always sounded like they were crying- start talking, thus beginning said conference call. But here is the new dynamic. My father proceedes to switch his phone to “mute” and sits the phone on the kitchen counter then goes about his business doing laundry and other things around the house. As in he just sort of walked away. So there I am in the kitchen, making food, and strangers are on the kitchen counter right next to me conversing about the sales and distributions of gatorades and cigarettes. Occasionly they would call on my father, so I had to shout to my dad “DAAAAAAD THEY ARE CALLING FOR YOU” which has a sort of creeper tone to it when typed out. But it was all normal. Well, as normal as my family can get. My father would get there just in time to comment and no one knew anything else was going on. Just another typical day in my life.