A small glimpse into what Lauren actually does during class.

I was going through my notebook today trying to find a packet of poems for poetry class, and I stumbled upon some rather amusing (at least to me) notes I wrote all over the pages. Because classes here are so unbelievably boring, I often find myself doodling instead of taking actual notes. Here are some interesting excerpts. Where the thoughts came from, who knows. Enjoy.

From Travel writing (Professor: Richard):

This first particular note comes from the day the computer and internet connection would not work, so we couldn’t watch any clips meaning we would be forced into a class discussion.

Dear Computer,

Why wont you work? You make me sick. I don’t understand what I have ever done to you for you to make me suffer like this. I thought you could rely on technology. I thought you were my friend. I guess I thought wrong. Now I must listen to pretentious students suck up to the professor. Thanks for nothing.

Then just randomness:

Lauren is truly profound.

The weak die easily as a feather, and when they die, they die together.

From Poetry class (Professor: Buckingham):

These are just a bunch of random little thoughts and ideas.

– Woodrow Wilson is my homeboy.

– Bring back the ugly coat!! (this was in reference to a girl who wears the most hideous coat imaginable. She came into class the other day wearing a somewhat less ugly plain black coat. I was sad.)

Am I falling asleep? Yes, yes I am.


When did the Buckster become Scottish? (When he reads poetry, my professor’s British accent fades away and out comes this tremendous Scottish accent. Its brilliant.)

Dear Professor Buckingham, let your students go. Love, Moses. (my personal favorite)

Enjambment rocks my socks.

From Shakespeare class: (Professor: Buckingham):

Hold up! It’s Shakespeare!

Rawr! I’m a bear! FEAR ME! (oddly enough, there was no actual picture of a bear anywhere on the page.)

A Roman, by a Roman, Valiantly Vanquished.

Lets make the ghosts gaze.

I hope you die Antony. (A bit bleak that one.)

Save the battles for the dance floor

Strike while the iron is hot.

Then there was the occasional limerick. The first was written by me, and the second was a response by my friend Macie, who has travel writing as well as Shakespeare with me.

There once was a travel writing class

With a professor who is such an ass

He once was so cool

But now he’s a tool

And I’d like to push him in the grass.

(Her response) I go to the class and shudder.

He makes me want to be a cutter.

He is insane

Lacking cells and membrane.

And on top of that, he stutters. (which he totally does.)

And while all of those may or may not be amusing or interesting to you, I found one particular page quite astonishing. Let me set up the scene. We are in Shakespeare class watching a horrible version of Antony and Cleopatra. I mean horrible. So I started writing anything and everything that came to my head. Random thoughts, random lines from the movie, random notes on things my professor shouts out.

Oh my gosh. lets leave. Im over you Billy Shakespeare. I am hungry. A marvelous man could exist. Oh to be free of this class. Bless you. I want to go to Ireland. Shakespeare is one crazy man. Awake sir, Awake. NO one cares about Antony or Cleopatra. It is so hot in here. Oh my gosh. Oh em gee. apparantly they want us roast. I wonder if Elise likes her candy. I wonder if Heather got hers. I wonder if she will give them to Leta. Who doesn’t like pancakes but likes them now. Shakespeare you are slowly killing me with this bad BBC reinactment. Let shake hands! Lets dance. This woman playing dear old Cleopatra is not good. SHe is literally orange. As if she has that disease where she eats too much carrots and tomato juice. She really thinks that she is going to get some kind of award for portraying this role. She is probably sitting at home with her fifty cats. What the heck is up with this shemale that is on the screen? He is talking like a unich. Dead. Someone just died. Oh! They left out a scene. Naughty. Way to destroy what Shakespeare set his lifes work out to do. Stupid BBC. Why is Buckingham making such eye contact with me? Its a little freaky. I suppose it looks like I am taking notes. The girl next to me is popping her gum and its annoying. You know what else is annoying? THIS CLASS. I have to go do laundry and I am so starving.

I think my favorite bit is when I write “bless you” when someone sneezes. As if they can hear me. Or read it. My friend read this and told me I needed my head examined. After rereading it, I think she might be right…



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5 responses to “A small glimpse into what Lauren actually does during class.

  1. Miss the Quote Book much?

    Fun fact:

    When I read the last sentence where it says “My friend read this and told me I needed my head examined” I came to the conclusion that your friend’s name was Arnold. I can’t think of a single sensible reason for this, but I was absolutely positive for a split second that their name was Arnold and that it couldn’t be anything else.

    But now I’m thinking that probably isn’t her name.

  2. Genevieve

    O.K. after reading the 2 quote books I think this is mild!! And I really really LOVE the limericks, you should do more! Or at least another blog with more of them! (that is after you rewrite your 3000 word essay!)

  3. improbablefiction

    Caleb- I have a friend named Arnie! Sadly he still lives in Florida. I’ve decided not to tell you this person’s name, and let you go on living your life pretending that her name is Arnold.
    Unless you really want to know. In which case I will tell you.

    Mother- Now that you have given me a task to complete during the boring hours of actual class time, I shall attempt to post more limericks. Because they do rock. Like this one:

    I have a 3000 word paper to redo.
    If I die it will be because of you.
    You told me to rewrite it,
    I decided not to fight it;
    Now I’m still unsure of what to do.

  4. Yeah, I don’t actually care what Arnold’s real name is.

    But don’t you dare act like “Arnie” and “Arnold” are the same thing again. They’re oil and water. Or at least tap water and the fountain of youth.

    “HEY, AAAAARNOLD!” wouldn’t have had the same beautiful ring to it if he went by Arnie.

  5. Genevieve

    I FEEL INSPIRED BY THAT LIMERICK!!! You rock that you are not going to give up your G.P.A. to a sad little man like him!!!

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